By Seth, 8:55 PM on Fri Nov 4 2005, 141 views (Edit, to draft, Top, Slurp)

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· Care Bear John Lesher leaves Endeavor to run Paramount Classics, hoping what he lacks in experience he can make up for in hugs.
· Ashlee Simpson earns her Doctorate in Public Asshology at a Toronto McDonald's.
· Yo, Trop: You got served! (With a lawsuit claiming racism.) Yo, Omar Sharif: Ditto!
· Warner Bros. lets the pink slips fly on Big Harry Potter Payday Eve.
· Brad Pitt and George Clooney have reportedly bought themselves a little gay bar to call their own, which they subsequently deny, deny, deny.
· A truly frightening Halloween: Bunny Paris hops over to the Playboy Mansion with various things stuck to her ass, as does Jeremy Piven, who also makes an appearance at Rick Rubin's bash dressed as a Bruce Lee with a black-belt in satisfyin' the ladies [SFX: Gong].
· Donald Trump's frank sex-talk causes the Great Baby Draught of 2006.
· Cameron Diaz insists acting-deficient boyfriend Justin Timberlake get a pivotal voice-over role in Shrek 3, causing DreamWorks' Jeffrey Katzenberg to plan a hit.