By Seth, 9:55 PM on Fri Aug 25 2006, 51 views (Edit post, Set to draft, Slurp)

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· The Unabridged Redstone Vs. Cruise: End of a $10 million-a-year era.
· Survivor: Cook Island puts a 1936 Olympics spin on its typical coconuts-gathering and spear-fishing contests.
· Snakes On A Plane shocks everyone when it turns out to be what it was supposed to be all along: a movie you pull out of the $2.99 bin at a Tower Clearance outlet.
· We y'all were ready for it, he just has no talent.
· Robert Evans opens up his pristine tennis courts and home to Entourage, and they turn around and take a big, steaming piss on them.
· "Oh, hell to the YES, my little, golden-voiced infidel!"
· Jamie Gold has a few supporters, and one guy who'd like his $6 million after taxes any time now, thank you very much.
· We're kinda leaning towards Forest Whitaker, but it's just a hunch.
· Starlets Illustrated.
· Enjoy the soothing strains of Japanese people laughing behind Paris Hilton's back. Or the unsoothing strains of her shitty album.
· The Emmy statue can't seem to get any respect.
· Neither can Nicole Richie, at least where puppets are concerned.