· Superman Returns' Seven-Day Opening Weekend: Luthor holds a wiener. Spider-Man steals his thunder. Returns' returns. His hair, in words and pictures. His face, in wax. The phony IMdB page. The Quest for Seats. The fanboy fantasy. The typo. The next Adam West?
· Goodbye, Star Jones: The suprise announcement. Barbara snaps back. Then swats hard. Star lives on in the Matrix. No end in sight for Jones' 'I Was Fired!' Media Tour.
· Potential Disaster Downgraded To Minor Inconvenience Week at Paramount: Fire! Blackout! You're fired, so get out!
· Six Sexy New Grieving Looks For Summer, featuring Tori Spelling.
· Everything you could possibly want to know about that chick from that scene in last week's Entourage.
· Katie Holmes and an unidentified, bobbed lady (we think it's Tom Cruise's mother) gets snapped by a reader at the Farmer's Market newsstand.
· The Roosevelt recaptures some of its former velvet rope glory when a bouncer nearly pummels a Paramount exec they deem too pushy.
· Will Ferrell's new "business partner" Gary Sanchez sounds a little fishy to us.
· Harper's Bazaar's bizarre choice of cover subject.
· Ashton Kutcher doesn't mind sharing his elevator ride with you.

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