By Seth, 8:45 PM on Fri Feb 16 2007, 487 views (Edit, to draft, Top, Slurp)

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· Britney Spears dabbles a toe in dry waters, but quickly decides it ain't nearly no fun.
· All the Anna Nicole you can stomach: Sexy babies, refrigerated bodies, refrigerated shakes, flamboyant entertainment doctors, the Phantom of the Will.
· Tom Cruise wants us to laugh with him this time.
· 24 has a thing or two to learn about torture. We suggest forced Tyra viewings.
· Ralph Fiennes is now free to move about your cabin. Or is he?
· Paris Interest Scoreboard: L.A. Mayors: 1, Vienna Society: 0.
· New Line really lucked out with that 23-month-old baby left to freeze to death. Is that kismet or what?
· Fey to Sorkin: "Longer and not funny." A brilliant insult because he'd argue the same thing. But for how much longer?
· Sharon Stone scolds those naughty Berliners.
· The S in SKG isn't donning the Obama swag just yet.
· Nic cage finally calls out Entertainment Weekly for the highbrow snobs they really are.
· Who knew that taking on Carlos Mencia could have such far-reaching consequences?
· Sometimes you gotta ram your SUV into a theaterful of people watching Dreamgirls just to feel anything.
· Like the movie they are meant to promote, Little Miss Cupcakes are sweetly predictable.
· No stunt-lesbianism to see here. Please disburse.
· Now all the separates you from David Geffen's magic sand is a 10-foot buffer.