· The Week in Disney: Pirates of the Caribbean does something pirate-like to earn the pirate equivalent of a lot of money...Lindsay Lohan and friends spend her 20th birthday hanging baked and upside down from The Swiss Family Robinson Treehouse...Bob Iger overheard asking his assistant why the motherfucking spellcheck doesn't include motherfucking A-list movie stars' names, then shoots Pluto.
· Suriwatch: A birth certificate is located, and after much scrutinizing, it appears to be genuine. Katie Holmes assures the world if the Surisquatch were to exist, it would be "great!"
· Doug Herzog finally calls out Dave Chappelle, and admits to having been perhaps a little too trigger-happy in censoring South Park's fun Muhammad-Hitler-George Bush three-way fisting sequence.
· We're not sure how a firetruck is going to help make Joe Francis' boo-boo better.
· Angelina Jolie now playing, not just adopting, outside her race.
· Adam Sandler and Kevin James ogle the manflesh of WeHo.
· Fanorexics unite!
· Michael Douglas' son lives the dream of anyone who sat through The In-Laws.
· Steve Guttenberg has Shabbos Fever.
· Miami Vice's new ending now features shot of Jamie Foxx's Tubbs running away screaming.

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