We have been very, very bad OC fans. While we should've been practicing our best Chino-hardened stares, Seth Cohen stutters, and Marissa Cooper primal screams (with optional pool furniture abuse) in preparation for tonight's third season premiere, we'd actually completely forgotten that it was on. Let's blame our Kirsten-level trouble with the sauce and move on, shall we? Luckily, many of you pointed us to this e-mail exchange between ESPN.com's Bill "The Sports Guy" Simmons, unabashed fan of all things Captain Oats, and The OC creator Josh Schwartz, a correspondence that burns hotter with passion than Crazy Oliver's crush on an emotionally stunted Coop (Disclosure: Yeah, we know we're namechecked in the column.) Rather than blockquote massive chunks of text, we'll focus on a single, tense (yet ultimately fleeting) moment, when Simmons asks whether or not any black people live in The OC:

Schwartz: Have you watched "Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County"? It's a reality show set in the same town as our show. Not making any excuses. Just saying it — it's the unfortunate reality of Newport Beach.

There you have it. We can put touchy issues such as these out of our heads, confident that the entertainment world is accurately reflecting the polar-bear-in-a-snow-storm demographics of Newport Beach. Plus, have we already forgotten that Marissa had a fling with her vaguely Hispanic gardener? That dollop of color should carry them through to at least the midpoint of season four. On to the next set of twenty-two social engagements that end in fist fights!

Special premiere bonus: The Fox News Cafe celebrates tonight's kickoff of The Ock and the new Reunion with an unacceptably half-assed, hopelessly muddled theme menu. Fox's promotional geniuses should have remembered to dance with the one what brung 'em and dedicated the entire day to Sandy Cohen's skills in the kitchen. The menu is after the jump:

Thursday, September 08, 2005 Rotisserie THE NEWS CAFÉ – THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 8, 2005 TODAY’S MENU BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE OC & REUNION THE NEW FOX THURSDAY PREMIERES TONIGHT 8PM

GUNSHOT GRILL
CARNITAS BURRITO 4.95
TORTILLA CHIPS & SALSA

Side Special:
ROASTED GARLIC & TOMATO RICE 1.00
VEGETARIAN REFRIED BEANS 1.00

THE COOPER COMBO: BURRITO, ONE SIDE & FOUNTAIN DRINK
5.95* TAX INCLUDED

Pizza Oven
PROM NIGHT PIZZA BY THE SLICE 1.75
THREE CHEESE PIZZA
PEPPERONI PIZZA
ROASTED VEGETABLE PIZZA

PARTYER’S PERSONAL PIZZA 4.95
PHILLY CHEESE STEAK PIZZA

THE COHEN COMBO: 2 SLICES OF PIZZA,
SIDE SALAD & FOUNTAIN DRINK
5.00 *TAX INCLUDED
Oven
Sandwiches
SOCIALITE SANDWICHES
FEATURING PREMIUM BOAR’S HEAD MEATS
CREATE YOUR OWN SANDWICH
TURKEY, ROAST BEEF, HAM, TUNA SALAD,
CHICKEN SALAD, EGG SALAD 5.00

SENIORITIS SANDWICH SPECIAL 5.50
SALAMI, PROVOLONE, PEPPERONCINI, ITALIAN VINAIGRETTE ON A HOAGIE ROLL

CAP & GOWN COMBO: ADD CHIPS & FOUNTAIN DRINK
5.75* TAX INCLUDED
Pasta
EIGHTIES ENTRÉES
ROASTED CHICKEN
½ CHICKEN 4.95
¼ CHICKEN 3.95
HUMMUS & PITA BREAD 1.00
GREEN BEANS 1.00

DETECTIVE’S DAILY SOUP SELECTION
MINESTRONE 2.50

OFF TO COLLEGE COMBO: ONE ENTREE, ONE SIDE & FOUNTAIN DRINK
5.95* TAX INCLUDED
Salad Bar
SPANDEX SALAD BAR
TOFU & BROCCOLI
SIDE SALAD
CHOICE OF SALAD 1.50
CREATE YOUR OWN SALAD BAR
4.00 SMALL SALAD BAR, 5.00 MEDIUM SALAD BAR, 6.50 LARGE SALAD BAR

• Curious Guy: The OC [ESPN.com]

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