Former agent Jamie Gold lost his valiant battle with fame early this morning, winning the World Series of Poker (on a bluff, naturally), its $12 million purse, and the lifelong curse of being upsold to a multisong, private room lapdance by every stripper in Vegas who recognizes him as "that rich poker guy." Keenly aware of their newest ambassador's ambivalence for his forced role as the Face of Poker, World Series organizers made Gold as comfortable as possible by supplementing their monetary spoils with a treat harkening back to his Hollywood life as an agent, hiding a fleshy, newborn baby inside the pile of his prize money, then inviting him to burrow inside right there at the table and partake of his victory snack.

• Gold rush: Bluff nets Gold $12 million WSOP win [ESPN.com]
• Conflicted Former Agent Plays Winning Poker, Fears Fame [Defamer]

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