Aug 23, 2005 04:10 PM
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Hollywood, 5:03 PM
Fri Mar 12
45 posts in the last 24 hours
Perhaps the only thing creepier than one Tom Cruise is three well-dressed guys who look and sound like the genuine article hanging out together. If our operative hadn't already been snooping around the Mission: Impossible 3 set at Paramount, he might have fled for his life, convinced that the invasion was finally nigh. Instead, we get this report:
Took a stroll down to Stage 18 on the Paramount lot Friday night following a screening to check out the MI:3 set and spotted Philip Seymour Hoffman out front. He was wearing a tux, huffing a smoke, and was decidedly taller, slimmer and less Cro-magnon than I expected. Even better were the three obvious stand-ins/evil clones for Cruise dressed in tuxes and hanging out front as well. Each one stood about 5'6, had spiky black hair, and all sported huge noses. To make things even more creepy they all smiled and cackled EXACTLY like Mr. Xenu (in a deranged, barely hinged manner, for those unfamiliar with his recent behavior). It might be time to start sending out my completely falsified resume because the thought of Tom Cruise building a miniature army from his own DNA right here on the lot is just too unnerving for words. We walked right into a group of them gathered in front of the stage, so we were no more than 10 feet away from these munchkins. I actually double-took all three because I thought they might be the real deal.
But what if there is no movie, and each stand-in/stunt double's "set call" is merely a ruse for harvesting the priceless organs that keep their doppleganger movie star vital? We wouldn't be surprised if there were ten lookalikes hanging around Stage 18 when production started. We'll make sure our operative keeps an accurate count in the coming weeks, just to be sure we're merely being paranoid.
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