· Lindsay Lohan gives rehab a third try in Utah, where she has a chance run-in with an operative. Lohan Family Memories, courtesy of their former bodyguard. Just the fucks. The fabled Last Pizza Box turns up on eBay.
· Endeavor sheds 25% of its unwanted fat. Ari Emanuel spreads some Summer Global Discovery among UCLA's student body.
· New Line tries and fails to learn from its Snakes on a Plane mistakes.
· This sex doll is playing Ryan Gosling's love interest. How's your career going?
· The Week in Spector: Michael Bay takes the stand. Gun hostage #5 is allowed to testify. A field-trip to the crime scene. Lily the Great Dane.
· Big Brother is watching you, and you appear to hate Jews.
· "No seriously, dudes, she was totally topless and sucked-face like a feisty piranha! Hell YEAH, I tapped that!"
· Jake Gyllenhaal still looking for that special script to snuggle up with during the cold, WGA-strike winter.
· Charlie Sheen accuses Denise Richards of asking for some make-up sperm.
· Michelle Pfeiffer has a trouble keeping track of her googly-eyed past.
· Courtney Love's weight is a matter of great importance.
· American Idol editors to make us choke on "Baby Idol" coverage.
· The Real World returns to L.A., where its housemates will make sure to recycle the beer cups they accidentally vomit into.

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