By Mark, 4:45 PM on Wed May 3 2006, 1,400 views (Edit, to draft, un-top, Slurp)

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Just in case you missed yesterday's Oprah [Ed.note—When the purge comes, you'll be the first sacrificed for your unspeakable sin.], Teri Hatcher bravely revealed (see clip above) that her "relationship" with Ryan Seacrest ended an hour after paparazzi famously snapped a completely unstaged picture of the couple engaged in the most uncomfortable kiss in the proud history of celebrity bearddom, when he told her, "I don't think I can do this with you." Seacrest, of course, had already realized that he could get more bang for his buck by posing with some far more low-maintenance Playmates, who wouldn't demand any icky make-out sessions in return for a heterosexuality-reenforcing photo-op.

And in other Teri Hatcher news, we're sad to report that posing in her underwear on Vanity Fair's cover did not have its intended effect of completely exorcising the demons of her childhood molestation. And oh yeah—and this is completely coincidental—Hatcher's memoir is available at your favorite bookseller today.