Before we lose any more of this oppressively beautiful, completely typical LA afternoon, let's get to your blind item answers. But first, flip through your blue books and re-check your work on One Slurplicious Blind Vice:

Ted sez: "Hey, you raunchy-ass readers, have you missed our nose-candy-lovin' party-doll, Pixie Mixie? Me, too, kittens. And, apparently, there's a little something that Pixie herself has been yearning for: Sapphic tongue-tangling. So, she indulged recently—and how. Yay for Pixie! Yay for us! Twas a chillin' night at a palatial pad belonging to one of Pixie's many fake friends. Just a few chicks gathered around the glass table, snorting and gossing—alas, not playing much mah-jongg, as these babes are way too young and tirelessly cool for that. Suddenly, assorted rail-thinistas looked across the room and saw P.M. making out, "hard-core, tongues heavy," with a gal-pal, so blurted one of the babes who hasn't eaten since Cher had her real body parts. Too hot.." Read the item.

You say: Your guesses are after the jump:

You say: Lindsay Lohan. A girl likes her nightclubs, frequently associates with an assortment of B- and C-list skankbots, and occasionally finds herself photographed in the presence of drug paraphernalia, and you're ready to point an accusatory finger at her any time a little blow is mentioned. When is that poor little lady gonna catch a break with you people?

You also say In approximate order of support: Nicole Richie, Mary-Kate Olsen, Paris Hilton, Tara Reid, and Mischa Barton.

And The Andy Dick/Dakota Fanning Memorial You Also Say Item Goes To: Natalie Portman. Hey, don't even joke now. She's a good girl! Even Vanity Fair said so.

Thanks to everyone for playing!

• Previously: The Blind Item Guessing Game: Pixie Mixie's Girl-on-Girl Adventures [Defamer]

Contact information for this author is not available.