Jan 20, 2006 07:53 PM
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Hollywood, 8:50 AM
Thu Mar 11
48 posts in the last 24 hours
Because not all of us can luxuriate in a Park City condo hot tub with a gaggle of giggling, blonde PR girls twirling your chest hairs and saying, "Wow. So you're Defamer? That's hot," we offer up instead this consolation prize: Your blind item guesses. First, let us reacquaint ourselves with One Bodily Fluid Blind Vice:
Ted sez: "I think we use the phrase drama queen too much. Like, it s totally lost its meaning. Which is too bad, because Vamperella Vein-Pop is, like, the only babe I can think of who seriously deserves to be crowned DQ of Hollywood. (Yep, Ashlee Simpson you ain t got nothing on the wanton one.)
So, get this. Ms. V-P managed to find herself a nice, non-famous boyfriend. We ll call him Rock Helmet. Now, Vamperella wasn t taking Rock to red carpet events and stuff but he sure was treating her right whenever she got the hardened itch (which was far less than her saucy image lets on). But, V.V-P. is so damn competitive, I bet there s only one guy in the freakin universe she d condescend to be seen in public with." Read the item.
You say: Your guesses after the jump.
You say: We have a clear winner, folks, with Vamperella being Teri Hatcher and Slick Brick, George Clooney two recent tabloid-linked supposed lovebirds. We would never have pointed a finger at beloved comeback kid Hatcher, but one reader felt the "Vein-Pop" portion of Vamperella's name was the dead giveaway, writing, "Everyone talks about how the vein on her forehead pops out and is so gross on hdtv." Alas, we don't have HDTV (and suddenly that seems like a good thing), so we'll just take your word for it. As for Clooney, well, we find it hard to believe that this dreamy he-man Cassanova could be anything less than a 100% vagina-loving male, but then again, he did have plans to make over a gay bar, and he certainly enjoys heading out to sea in the company of his gentleman friends.
You also say: Toilet-mouthed road-menace (and beloved star of Desperate Housewives!) Eva Longoria and really big tipper (just ask him!) Jamie Foxx.
You also say: Jake Gyllenhaal and Mischa Barton. Mostly from our gay readers who know it was wrong but can't seem to give up on the gay Jake fantasy.
And The Andy Dick Memorial You Also Say Item Goes To: Kathy Griffin and Ryan Seacrest.
Thanks for playing!
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