· At Comedy Central's after-party, Jon Stewart looks sad because he fell for Stephen Colbert's "Hey, would you mind holding my loaf of bread while I run off with one of your Emmys?" trick for a second straight year.
Quick, put in a bid on the sunglasses Jeremy Piven wore to the Emmys before he pulls them out of the auction, superstitious that they were responsible for his win.
There is perhaps nothing sadder than watching Tara Reid, who once had an entire series dedicated to her partying skills, denied entrance to an exclusive drinking establishment. She just looks so lost and powerless standing by that unmoved, unfeeling Hyde bouncer while Paris strides right in.
Agent Fashionwatch, Mini Edition: "...Emanuel's kid brother, famous Hollywood agent Ari (bright pink Polo shirt, lobster-print belt, white Adidas sneakers) kept jumping up from his front-row seat to pace and speak urgently into his dorky cell-phone headset." What's an agent got to wear to get some respect from the Daily News?
· Paris Hilton is unhappy that Cher's son claimed to scrub his genitals with Tilex after a sexual encounter with her to avoid contracting a social disease, as she fears this rumor might hurt her exclusive STV medication endorsement with Valtrex.

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