By Mark, 8:54 PM on Tue Jan 17 2006, 83 views (Edit, to draft, Top, Slurp)

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· The chain of causality has been firmly established: Sneak a burger during an awards ceremony, get your wife pregnant.
· Despite our best attempts to ignore it, crazy-ass life goes on outside of awards season. For example, PETA is upset about what it considers subpar conditions for Michael Jackson's menagerie at Neverland, yet doesn't seem at all concerned about the abandoned packs of Cub Scouts roaming the grounds in search of food and living in the rusty ferris wheel.
· Still more lingering awards-related business: Army Archerd is stepping down as red carpet greeter at the Oscars. Seacrest obviously has incriminating photos.
· There's no reason why a canceled ESPN show should make us feel better about life, but somehow the death of the ESPN Hollywood abomination does just that.
· Shatner daily double! Big Billy Style sells a kidney stone for charity, will host the Golden Groundhog Awards.