By Mark, 9:09 PM on Tue Nov 6 2007, 10,551 views (Edit, to draft, Top, Slurp)

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· Ssssssh, everybody! Those unsuspecting YouTubers have no idea that Oprah has stashed away Patrick Swayze backstage, who's ready to give the wife the Dirty Dancing thrill of a lifetime! ("You get a fading star, and you get a fading star, and you get a fading star!" etc etc.)
· When he's not busying preparing for his upcoming baptism, Russell Crowe loves to shop!
· Don't judge Paris Hilton: there are just as many people to help in a Tokyo beauty pageant as there are in, like, Rawandania or wherever.
· If you've been looking for a writers strike primer that's as easy to follow as an iPhone commercial, here you go.
· Funny or Die checks in with 826LA's all-star roster of tutors.