Dismayed that previous attempts at strengthening public perception of his heterosexuality employing Teri Hatcher and a pair of Playmates backfired spectacularly, a vulnerable Ryan Seacrest stumbled into an even more misguided photo-op involving the conquest of yet another object of straight-male desire. As illustrated in the accompanying photo montage, Seacrest seductively approached the Stanley Cup, briefly pretended to be interested in what it had to say, and finding that his interest was returned by the starstruck trophy, gently rested his chin on its quivering lip while thrusting himself deep inside its silvery recesses. Once the flashbulbs subsized, however, the notoriously camera-shy American Idol host quickly retreated, mumbling something about not being able to handle the rigors of such a public relationship.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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