By Mark, 11:55 AM on Wed Nov 1 2006, 1,545 views (Edit, to draft, Top, Slurp)

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We know that the two days following the announcement of the end of Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe's marriage have been a dark, confusing time for you, during which you lost hours of much-needed sleep as you tried to understand how the complicated interpersonal dynamics inherent in any Hollywood union where one partner is far more successful than the other (see also: Swank, Hilary and Swank, Guy Who Married Hilary) might have slowly frayed the couple's love-bond. Us Weekly's story about the break-up releases you from your mental torment, as the proffered explanation is simplicity itself: Phillippe has allegedly "grown close to" (i.e., is schtupping raw) a co-star, a relationship-dissolving method recently embraced by leading men far more accomplished than himself. An alert reader has noticed that the actress's IMDb page is already starting to look like a photo album commemorating the blossoming of their professional collaboration to a personal one, lacking only images of the duo retreating to Phillippe's trailer for the downtime rendevzous that always begins with the words, "Tell me again about how you don't have an Oscar. That gets me so hot."