Yes, yes, we know. These pictures make Ricky Martin and his mystery cockpit co-pilot look like they just crash landed Spaceship Ass-Voyager on Gaylon-69, sixth planet from the flaming sun of the Brown Eye Nebula. Go ahead, laugh it up, get it out of your system.

Done? Good. Now, here's all we have to say on this: 1. Do you have any idea how hard it is to pull off looking good in a Speedo? It's hard. Trust us, we've tried, and it wasn't pretty. Needless to say, hairy, love-handled Jews were not meant for Lycra man-kinis. 2. Yo, Ricky, nice choice. Hope she bangs you 'til the sun goes down.

UPDATE: A reader informs us Ricky Martin's beach partner is his half-brother Eric Martin, making any sort of sexual union between the two wrong. Really. Really. Wrong.

• Previously: Ricky Martin Douses The World In His Passion [Defamer]

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