It is in difficult times like these that we throw ourselves into the arms of the Drudge Report, knowing that any potentially upsetting news with be broken to us with a gentle whisper in the ear and a reassuring stroking of our hair.

After the jump, video of the announcement, which for at least one bystander represented the total collapse of the universe:

• Screaming Paris Hilton Sent Back to Jail [Breitbart]

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