Apr 21, 2005 04:15 PM
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Hollywood, 2:11 AM
Wed Mar 10
48 posts in the last 24 hours
Our latest Defamer Party Report reinforces one of the most important of all Hollywood partygoing rules: You only need the vaguest sense of whom the party's being thrown for to guiltlessly gobble down as much free food and booze as your body type will allow. An operative files this report from Monday's fête for Ron Howard spouse/author Cheryl Howard Crew's new novel at Imagine pal Brian Grazer's house (the Variety VPage report is available here, if you'd like some pretty pictures to illustrate):
Got invited almost by accident to the swanky affair at the Grazer's manse up in Pacific Palisades on Monday 4/18 in honor of Ron Howard's wife whatshername's new book. (I don't know her name, it's BlahBlah MaidenName Howard, isn't it? Following in the steps of Gigi Levangie Grazer, seems like.) The whole affair was abso-fucking-lutely gorgeous with an Indian theme (seems as if the book, which I didn't take, is about an American girl who travels in India) and beautiful Indian dancers doing their thang all over the backyard. But I did feel bad for the poor catering staff, who were all white girls subjected to the torture of wearing saris and showing off their not-quite-brown stomachs. Thankfully the Grey Goose on tap allowed me to forget all my sympathy.
Obviously I was out of my Target-shopping, Sutter-Home-consuming element. But it didn't matter. I could have died happy after seeing Jason Bateman in all of his fabulous, boyish glory. (Although, I must admit I was jonesin' for a Will Arnett sighting. Gob's my fave.) So now on to Who Was There: Obviously Brian Grazer was at his own party, as was Ron Howard. It would have been dickish if they weren't, right? George Lucas also showed up, since he was a co-host. I never knew he was so short! (Although, as you will read on, Hollywood is apparently the land of the Oompa Loompas.)We went inside and saw Renee Zellweger. (Freak! Ish! Ly! SKINNY! Girl needs to eat a turkey bacon guacamole sub or TEN. I could see every vein in her arm and I had no idea they made skirts that small.) Portia DeRossi and Ellen Degeneres arrived and were very, very cute and holding hands. Both are shorter than I would have thought. Eventually they announced the opening of the Indian food buffet and me, being the non-actress I am, waddled on over. Yummy EVERYTHING was on hand including Indian-food-this and Indian-food-that. (Call me uncultured if you will.) I noticed that the girl next to me looked a whole heckuva lot like Lara Flynn Boyle... And of course it was. I will report that her plate was full and she took a little bit of everything the buffet had to offer. (As did I, natch.) My roommate guest, after taking her fair doseage of Grey Goose and Bacardi, was loopy enough to go up to her. (And by the way, she officially wasn't the skinniest girl at the party since Renee already out-bulimia'd everyone there.) She was actually really nice about it.
Then Roommate, who has far more guts than myself (and had consumed far more alcohol) decided to grasp the moment of a lifetime and talk to Arrested Development creator Mitchell Hurwitz, who couldn't have been lovelier. He was itchin' to talk to Mr. Return-of-the-Disappointing-Prequels himself, who was being hounded by reporters all evening. But Mr. Hurwitz is just as funny and quick-witted as one might imagine. (Can you tell I've been to www.getarrested.com?) Love him. May possibly ask him to be future spawn's godfather. Or father. If he's up for it. Other people were there, like the tiny, tiny, tinytinytiny Chris Kattan, Gabrielle Union, Marc Blucas (is he still doing anything?), Penny Marshall (looking crotchety as ever, but I still love her), Jackie Collins, Henry Winkler (and his kids, who are just as small as he is) and Showgirl Extrordinaire, Elizabeth Berkley (who isn't short!). At the end of the night, my roomie and I decided to skip out on the book signing with Mrs. MaidenName-Howard and high-tailed it up the looooong driveway to wait for the valet with power couple Degeneres/DeRossi. As we watched Ellen drive into the sunset in her stellar Porsche and the Winkler kids get into a Land Rover, our own stallion, my roommate's blue VW Bug, arrived and we were escorted into our car and given a white rose for our trouble. All in all, Gigi knows how throw a party. I would say something clever and Indian here, but I won't.
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