According to the Times, Conan's contract only guarantees he would be the host of a television program called "The Tonight Show"—it "contains no specific language about the time period the show would occupy." NBC is planning on sticking the "Tonight Show" name on Conan's new 12:05 slot like a Mickey Mouse band-aid on a gangrenous shark bite. This should make it harder for Conan to disentangle himself from his contract and possibly respond to Fox's overtures ("He would be a very compatible fit for our brand," said one Fox exec). Read the small print, late-night television hosts! [NYT]

•Action-filled news! Paramount has OK'd a 'G.I Joe' sequel, and an untitled 'Star Trek' followup has been slated for a June 29, 2012 release. Meanwhile, "Knockout," the revenge spy flick starring mixed martial artist Gina Carano, is in the process of adding "G.I. Joe's" Channing Tatum and Michael Angarano ("Snow Angels") to its already A-list cast (Michael Douglas, Michael Fassbender, Ewan McGregor and Dennis Quaid.). According to The Hollywood Reporter, Tatum will train with a Mossad agent in preparation. Angarano will train with a snow angel? [Variety] [THR]

•"Larry Crowne" is the Tom Hanks/Julia Roberts film you've been waiting for since 2007's "Charlie Wilson's War"! Hanks wrote the film and will direct. Roberts will make sure the film makes an improbable amount of money. [Variety]

•Talent show spin-off news! 'Glee,' don't turn into 'American Idol' on us now: The second season of 'Glee' will be preceded by a 'multipart special' on Fox which will follow a nationwide casting call to fill three new roles on the show. The real "American Idol" could take a hit with Simon Cowell's departure, says the LA Times. [TheWrap] [LAT]

•French New Wave filmmaker Eric Rohmer is dead at 89. Rohmer's 1969 "Night at Maud's" was nominated for best foreign-language film and best screenplay Oscars, and "The Marquise of O" won the Special Jury Prize at Cannes in 1976. [THR]

correction: A reader named "M. O'ribund" sends this note:

In your "roundup" post featuring Conan, you mention that Blake Lively
has been cast in the *Marvel* movie "Green Lantern". This is a DC
character, not Marvel.

DC - Superman, Batman, Catwoman, Green Lantern, Wonder Woman, Watchmen,
Swamp Thing

Marvel - Spiderman, X-Men, Wolverine, Iron Man, Daredevil, Elektra, Hulk,
Fantastic Four, Punisher, Avengers, Ghost Rider, Thor, Nick Fury, Silver
Surfer

You probably remember the book, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, the Jane Austen/zombie mashup which managed to be both a big hit and read by almost nobody we know. Now Portman is starring as Elizabeth Bennet in the zombie flick/period piece adaptation which is being produced by her company, handsomecharlie, and director Richard Kellys' Darko Productions. Funniest thing is what Portman's handsomecharlie partner, Annette Savitch, said about the project: "The idea of zombies running rampant in 19th Century England may sound odd, but it lends a modern sense of urgency to a well known love story." Right, because we have all these zombies running around now? [Variety]

•Today The Wrap investigates a paradox: Fewer movies were made this year, but they made more money. There were 20 percent fewer films this year than in 2008, but they surpassed the $10 billion mark collectively for the first time in history. The Wrap advances a few explanations: 1) ticket sales are up; 2) the average price of a ticket rose 4.2 percent, to $7.48 (thanks, in part, to more 3D films); 3) movie-goers want to escape the shitty economy; 4) an influx of big-name sequels; and 5) Sandra bullock. Seriously, her two movies this year will gross more than $300 million once "The Blind Side's" run is finished. [The Wrap]

•But if Paramount has its way, there might be a bunch more movies next year: Hot on the spectacular success of the $15,000 "Paranormal Activity" (which grossed more than $100 million), Paramount has announced plans to finance up to 20 'micro-budget' films per year, which each have budgets of less that $100,000. [LAT]

•Although, Incentive Filmed Entertainment is planning on making fewer movies with bigger budgets. The company is abandoning its plan to make 10 films at $15 million a piece; now they're making only 2-4 at $30 million. Sheesh, make up your mind, Hollywood. [Variety]

•Anyone who likes the film "The Foot Fist Way" or the HBO series "Eastbound and Down" will be excited now: Actor Danny McBride ("Eastbound and Down" "Pineapple Express") along with his frequent collaborator's Jody Hill and David Gordon Green have set up Rough House Pictures under Mandate Pictures. They will make comedies, which we will probably laugh at. [Variety]

•Kate Micucci was so good in her audition for Fox's new comedy "Hope" that she convinced creator Greg Garcia to switch the gender of the main character, originally "Mike," to a female. Either that is spectacular acting or terrible script-writing. [The Wrap]

More important than printing comics (which, they actually still do!), Marvel is valuable for the merchandising and movie rights to all its characters—over 5,000—many of which have become the massive film franchises that are the lifeblood of the movie studios. The only two studios that aren't dependent on Marvel for summer tentpoles are Disney and Warner Bros. (which bought out DC Comics and its stable of characters including Batman, Superman and Wonder Woman). Paramount has Iron Man, Sony's long been living off Spider-Man, 20th Century Fox lives and dies by how many X-Men,Wolverine, or Fantastic Four films it can spin out and Universal would like you to like The Hulk.

All of a sudden, those studios have just discovered that Disney may be in control of their summer fates. Welcome to your new groveling life, studio executives.

• Shepard Smith doesn't appear to fit the Fox News mold, as the stream of hate email appears to attest, but his nightly show is having its best year yet. [NYT] 
• Speaking of Fox News, Gawker's John Cook finally managed to get a chance to ambush Fox News's in-house ambusher Jesse Watters. [Gawker]
• Days away from the start of shooting, Columbia Pictures has pulled the plug on Steven Soderbergh's Moneyball starring Brad Pitt. [THR]
• Paramount is banking on Lorenzo di Bonaventura to come through this summer: The studio's entire movie schedule rests in his hands. [NYT]
• Bobbie Battista left CNN eight years ago. What's she doing now? She's an anchor for The Onion's video site, in case you've missed it. [NYT]
• The world's most expensive magazine, Nomenus Quarterly, is now more expensive than ever: A single issue will run you $6,500. [NYT/The Moment]

It was more than year and a half ago that Paramount chief Brad Grey was served with divorce papers by his wife of 25 years, Jill Grey. The case finally wrapped up last week when the two sides reached a settlement. Just how much Jill walked away with wasn't disclosed in the court docs. Judging by her signature, though, it's safe to assume she did just fine. [TMZ]

The London Times issued the first mainstream approbation after Tuesday's world premiere, suggesting that "as the first attempt to make a truly post-adolescent comic book movie, Watchmen is, literally, peerless." Neither critics from Variety nor The Hollywood Reporter seemed to disagree after viewing the film last night in LA. For what that was worth: At bigger issue, they wrote, is Watchmen's muddled mediocrity at best and stories "too absurd and acting too uneven to convince anyone," according to THR's Kirk Honeycutt. And by "anyone," the critic really does mean it, concluding, "Looks like we have the first real flop of 2009." Variety's Justin Chang was barely more optimistic about the long-awaited graphic novel adaptation:

[A]uds unfamiliar with Moore's brilliantly bleak, psychologically subversive fiction may get lost amid all the sinewy exposition and multiple flashbacks. After a victorious opening weekend, the pic's B.O. future looks promising but less certain.

"Whatever," studio partners Warner Bros. and Paramount might reply, reminding us that last week's distant fanboy screeching has crescendoed into a full-on market mating call. Harry Knowles led a generally rapturous second wave of praise ("I WATCHED THE FUCKING WATCHMEN AND FUCKING LOVED IT!" he bellowed this week on Ain't It Cool News), joined by admirers from CHUD, Hitfix and elsewhere. The studios' pricey, saturation marketing push nudges you from every direction — Web, print, TV, bus stops, even inside your coffee cup. Another classic case of review-proof comics fodder, a $125 million epic cut from Dark Knight cloth and tailored like one-size-fits-all robes for the geek choir. Right?

Not so fast. Full disclosure: We haven't seen Watchmen, and for all we know it's worthy of CHUD's comparisons to, ahem, The Godfather. But the ad hominem accolades overlook the bigger problem of two studios offering spring's biggest film as an R-rated, 161-minute, apocalyptic sex-and-violence fantasia. "[N]ot for the kids," acknowledges the Times, and possibly not even for the adults if leading critics — usually relied on to boost the prospects of indie and foreign fare — don't attest to director Zack Snyder's "art" when the films opens globally next week. So far, so bad.

Outside of Oscar season, it's an almost unprecedented scenario. The audience limitation is already beyond risky at these prices (particularly for a film that has no franchise future), but unofficially relying on critics to sell a blockbuster even its own source novelist vehemently disowns doesn't seem like much of a bet at all — it's like a prelude to a forfeiture. Of course Watchmen will open to $70 - $80 million domestically, and of course it will be profitable (most notably for the Satanic rights-claimants at Fox), and DVD perpetuity will be good to Snyder's even longer director's cut. But a sure thing it's not — and that's at best. Look out below.

The film's Web site recently unveiled a partial interior tour of the USS Enterprise, nicely remodeled after the original owners' slide into '80s-era disrepair. Bedroom/bathroom counts are still forthcoming, but the state-of-the-art teleport-bay bidet hints at the charmingly upscale touches holding you over until more specifics become available.

• 'Star Trek' [Paramount via TrekMovie]

Instead, Stewart went forward with a few good-natured jibes at his corporate cousin's $150 million Oscar behemoth The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button — if you can call two narcolepsy jokes and extended plot mockery "good-natured." Worse yet, it came while introducing Slumdog's Dev Patel, who was welcomed shortly afterward as the equivalent of Oscar 2009's homecoming king. Worse yet, Stewart's smirking laughter at his own jokes led both his live and viewing audiences to believe they are actually fresher, funnier and/or more influential than they actually are.

So! That does it, right? 0-for-13? Watch your nuts, Jon; Brad Grey just stepped out for lunch. [The Daily Show via LAT]

Nikki Finke passes along word that Viacom boss Phillipe Dauman "wanted to get a jump" on retaining Grey, whose current contract expires at the end of the year but whose tenure — however much money he spent and partners he deported to India — has been distinguished enough to ask back for another five-year run. We salute his longevity/survival against the odds and hope he'll return our meek waves of support should our paths ever cross his daily executive motorcade down Melrose.

• Viacom Extends Brad Grey's Contract [DHD]

As of this writing, at least the splash page for Paramount 2008 is still under the cryptic spell of what appear to be a cabal of Turkish hackers calling themselves "Unimportant Defacers Team." The lone link directs readers to a list of their other international conquests, among whom Paramount seems its biggest defacement yet. While we can't say we're not impressed, the question remains: Aren't the Turks supposed to be at war with Warner Bros. instead? Or is this just another crafty Weinstein Co. diversion to conceal Harvey's newfound computer proficiency? Developing... [Thanks to reader MCU for the tip.]

• Paramount 2008

After the jump: The Universal globe stops spinning for 70 unlucky souls.

Not even veteran talking head John Norris—who was very polite to us on the VMAs red carpet when we accidentally wandered into his shot and asked where we might find Britney's elephant—was immune. Over at Paramount, meanwhile, a behooded, shirtless, chaps-wearing Sumner Redstone (he doesn't particularly like playing executioner—but when he has to, he goes for it whole hog) stands guard at a ceremonial guillotine set up in studio square, awaiting word on when to release the symbolic blade that will officially cut further salaries from the payroll. We're told supervisors are still in a meeting, and the rest of the staff is defecating masonry in anticipation. We'll have a report for you from the inside a little later.

Over at NBC Universal, Deadline Hollywood Daily reports, the belts are being tightened to gastric-bypass levels. Personal printers are strictly verboten, no new office supplies will be purchased for six months, everyone must travel (*gasp*) one class-level down, and Jeff Zucker himself will be reviewing temps' overtime charges. So don't even try it, A1 Personnel Placing Services recommendee.

500 job cuts throughout the company will follow, THR reports—including a "3% headcount reduction" at Universal Pictures, as chairman and co-chairman Marc Shmuger and David Linde's Christmas card thoughtfully put it. That's about 70 positions worldwide. The text follows:

Dear Colleagues,

As we strive to meet the challenges presented by the struggling economy, leaders from every department at Universal Pictures have worked hard to identify cost saving measures in many areas of our business. Those measures include scaling back on travel, overtime, consultants, premieres, conferences, newspaper marketing and general administrative costs.

While much has been accomplished to find necessary savings, we regret that we must also reduce headcount by around 3%. No company likes to have to make these kinds of decisions, and certainly we are no exception. We want to assure you that everyone has done their best to keep job cuts to an absolute minimum.

The process of communicating with those individuals whose positions are affected has begun today and will continue for the next few days.

We appreciate the effort from everyone who has participated in this difficult process.

Sincerely,
Marc Shmuger and David Linde

• Marc Shmuger and David Linde Break Bad News To Universal: 70 Layoffs Worldwide [Deadline Hollywood Daily]
• NBC Universal laying off 500 employees [THR]

Dear Colleagues:

With less than a month until the close of 2008, our entire organization continues to do everything possible to anticipate and adapt to the unprecedented changes affecting all our businesses. We know it hasn't been easy and we couldn't be more proud or more appreciative of how you have risen to the challenge.

Even in these tough economic times, Viacom has a strong hand to play. We have a broad stable of outstanding brands, diverse revenue streams and an impressive global footprint, backed up by exceptional financial strength. Added to that we have talented employees, extremely able leaders and a creative ingenuity that runs deep.

Unfortunately, our advantages and best efforts can't completely protect Viacom from the very serious and broad-based challenges of this economic recession. Viacom's long-term health will depend on our shared commitment to adapt, to innovate and to make difficult choices. To compete and thrive, we need to create an organization and a cost structure that are in step with the evolving economic environment.

Today, we are announcing a company-wide restructuring plan that includes staffing reductions in all divisions. This will result in a reduction of our worldwide workforce of approximately 7 percent, or about 850 positions. We are also suspending salary increases for the Company's senior level management in 2009. In addition, after a comprehensive review of our operations, we will write down certain programming and other assets. These three actions will bring us significant cost savings and other efficiencies.

Top managers at every part of the company worked thoughtfully, carefully and compassionately to create a leaner, more focused organization. It was not an easy task, but it was an essential step that will keep Viacom at the competitive forefront today and tomorrow. Department heads and supervisors will provide you with more information about the changes that will be taking place in your division.

Saying goodbye to friends and colleagues is always difficult, particularly when we have shared so much. Those of you who will be leaving should be proud of your contributions, which we will always respect and appreciate. We thank you and we wish you the best.

The true measure of an organization is how it deals with change and overcomes challenges. We know that you are up to the task and that together we will push through the difficulties ahead and go on to even greater achievements.

We truly appreciate your continued commitment and hard work and we thank you for everything you do each day.

Sincerely,

Philippe and Tom

From MTV's Judy McGrath to employees:

I'm sure you've read Philippe and Tom's note, and I want to talk to
you about what it means for MTV Networks – today and in the context of
our overall mission and strategy going forward.

We all know there's a fundamental restructuring of our entire economy
going on, and it extends beyond our borders. This is not just about
MTVN, Viacom or even sister media companies – it's happening in every
industry, all over the world. This doesn't make it easier to say
goodbye to people we love and respect, but it is the hard truth. In
these tough times, we are responsible for sustaining and reinventing
our company as thoughtfully as we can. The changes we're making today
are necessary, difficult, and the responsible way for us to move
forward.

Here in the U.S., we're consolidating some groups, centralizing
functions and outsourcing others, and aligning our resources across
brands and platforms. Specific details of the changes and how they
affect you and your group will be communicated by your department
heads today. Our International organization continues to implement a
new approach to structure and operations, which has been underway
throughout the year. Further moves will be outlined by the leadership
of each MTVNI region.

Change like this is so tough, to say the least. But we must accept
that we operate today in a state of constant evolution, constant
change.

We believe the next chapter for each of us will be all about new
possibilities, creativity and invention. This is where our
opportunity lies. We can use this moment of global transformation to
reassert our capacity to innovate, to inspire through creative and
business excellence, to connect with our audience as powerfully as
ever. We will be a leaner organization, but we will always be
champions of new ideas, champions of all of our customers and brands,
and leaders in new ways of doing business.

Everyone here contributes to MTVN and Viacom every single day and
night without exception. We hate to see dedicated friends and
co-workers leave us, and we say goodbye with care, gratitude, support
and respect.

Thank you all for your continued commitment to MTV Networks.

— Judy

From Paramount's Brad Grey [via Variety]:

Dear Colleagues:
By now, you all have seen the email from Philippe Dauman and Tom Dooley regarding Viacom's cost-saving initiatives, which are designed to better position the Company in this difficult economic climate. Like all other divisions of the Company, Paramount too is adapting to the changing conditions and, as a result, we will reduce our global workforce.

These reductions are across the studio: accounting, business/legal affairs, corporate and government affairs, home entertainment, human resources, information technology, production, studio lot operations and Vantage. The vast majority of affected employees will be notified today in the United States and in the coming days internationally. We wish them the best, and thank them for their many contributions to Paramount.

Without question, the changes we implement today required us to make difficult choices. We take these steps after a careful analysis of our overall business and as part of a broader strategy to overcome the challenges of this unusual time in the market and to chart a successful course for the future.

As we look ahead, we are encouraged by the strength of our slate, the quality of our creative partners, the innovation we see on the lot every day and the projects we have in development. These assets, coupled with your talent and hard work, I believe will enable us to remain strong over the long term.

Examples are vague, however, and we are at a loss ourselves to suggest potential conflicts between Paramount's efforts and Fincher's vision: Perhaps the poster's lettering isn't backwards enough? The reviews aren't unanimously euphoric with praise? It could be anything, really, but we hear at least one 'Mount alum has a new welt to remind him of an ancient-past studio misstep:

After an LA screening, Fincher was rude to John Goldwyn, who was running Paramount in the early '90s when the movie, based on a short story by F. Scott Fitzgerald, was first in development. After Goldwyn congratulated Fincher, "he hit Goldwyn in the chest with his hand and hurt him and said, 'That's for you, for not greenlighting the movie when you had a chance.' " The picture, which shows Brad Pitt aging backward, relies on computerized effects that didn't exist 15 years ago.

Not to mention on a director whose film career at the time consisted solely of Alien 3, and nobody thumped him in the chest for wrecking that. Appreciate your breaks where you can catch them, Fincher, and consider keeping these guys closer for the next three months— they aren't Jake Gyllenhaal.

• Director Acts Like a Dope [NYP]

Or so argues an anonymous filmmaker who today sent word to Hollywood Elsewhere praising the timeless tradition of unloading book and script options, lest they moulder in middle management's closets instead of rocketing past a green light on another lot:

"When Goldstein ran that story, it increased the level of paranoia in the studios and now people aren't as likely to put projects into turnaround, which is what saves or releases some projects and results in their being made into films at other studios [...] Let's say I have a property that's owned by a studio and it's not working out. In this situation a studio exec saying to me 'Fine, I'll put it into turnaround and let you have it, take it across the street to Warner Bros. and God speed' is usually an act of benevolence. It saves a project from death.

"Now with this Weston thing, a lot more studio execs and [sic] going to say 'Sure, I let you take it elsewhere and then two years from now I'll read about how I'm the asshole who let a big hit go to some other studio? Fuck it, I'm going to hang onto it. I'd rather have the project die here than have it go elsewhere than have an article turn up down the road that'll make me look stupid.'"

All right, all right, Weston, we get it — you did the right thing. Turnaround for all! You first, Poltergeist.

• How the big studios missed the boat on 'Twilight' [Source]

• TUrnaround Chill [Hollywood Elsewhere]

The first Button item we saw was submitted by an "industry spy"; if it was published by anyone other that Anne Thompson, we'd assume it was just a publicity intern practicing her press-note chops:

The achievement is big and bold and ambitious and life-affirming, but the sentimentality is always toughened by the continual sense of loss and deep sadness at the transitory nature of the human condition. If it sounds like an art movie, it absolutely is, but it's a four-quadrant art film!

Or as director David Fincher might put it, a "four-quadrant rim job." That's a milestone, no doubt, but we'd missed an even earlier, spoiler-heavy read from a blogger who was less sanguine:

I wasn’t as moved by this film as I wanted to be. This was number one on my list of must-see holiday movies and I so wanted to be blown away but it just didn’t happen. This movie is a very ambitious effort—it looks gorgeous, there are some groundbreaking special effects and the rest of the cast also do excellent work but it’s the kind of movie you respect more than love. It’s like a piece of art that you look at and say, “It’s pretty,” but don’t necessarily want to bring home.

And then came Spout's Karina Longworth, who honored every part of the embargo except for the part prohibiting slagging the visual effects. And then came the hater to whom The Playlist attributed an "emotional dud":

While they didn't think it was terrible, they did say the film wasn't the tearjerker we all heard it was supposed to be and was much more of an "emotional dud." They're reaction to it was lukewarm, but they also noted it was the kind of tepidness that the Academy loves. When we probed a little further and asked about its deeper Oscar hopes, the mention of Brad Pitt was practically laughed out of the room.

NOOO! We needed him for our Oscar pool — even though the season's other big Paramount release (with DreamWorks), Revolutionary Road, is prompting lip-loosening hype itself on two sides of the Atlantic. Thompson again had an anonymous impression back on Oct. 29, citing a "very powerful two-hander for Leo and Kate. [...] You can sense the real-life bond that lets them really go for it, all defenses down." Modern classic, etc etc.

Meanwhile, Jeffrey Wells's source in the UK agreed for the most part today:

"Only the ending felt a little unsure; otherwise, I feel Mendes has made serious progress as a director. A daring scene at the breakfast table is pulled off with virtuosity towards the end. I'll say no more than this. Much is demanded of the leads. [...] We're dealing with a lot of heightened emotion bordering on melodrama. But the actors cope well, although Kate Winslet, I feel, is more convincing than Leonardo DiCaprio.

Great. We heard she might be in the running for some sort of honors this year. So! Thanks to everyone for contributing, and we'll see you on the studio blacklist!