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I Hereby Declare Fashion Bloggers' "Front Row" Status Over

I Hereby Declare Fashion Bloggers' "Front Row" Status Over #fashion #bloggers

The Invincible Charlie Sheen's Old-School Christmas: Chokin' Ladies Out

The Invincible Charlie Sheen's Old-School Christmas: Chokin' Ladies Out #maritaldisquiet #charliesheen

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NWA Flight 253: Winners, Losers, Heroes, and The Schadenfreude of Burning Balls #travel #flight253

Presenting The Gawker Internet Yule Log™

Presenting The Gawker Internet Yule Log™ #merrychristmas #yulelog

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Please Talk Among Yourselves on #crosstalk While We Gorge on Eggnog #forums #crosstalk

Did Susan Sarandon Dump Tim Robbins for a Ping Pong Entrepreneur?

Did Susan Sarandon Dump Tim Robbins for a Ping Pong Entrepreneur? #rumormonger #susansarandon

Nuclear Bomb Researchers Accidentally Blow Up Building

Nuclear Bomb Researchers Accidentally Blow Up Building #whoops #science

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Hollywood, 7:20 PM
Sat Dec 26
6 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • By Mark

    Send a link to this post 'Heaven's Movie Pirates About To Meet Their Worst Nightmare' via email:


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    Apr 26, 2007 9:59 PM 2,249
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    The Invincible Charlie Sheen's Old-School Christmas: Chokin' Ladies Out

    This Week In Tabloids: Angie's "So Lonely" & The Jersey Shore Kids Are Injecting Tanner

    What Famous Couple Will Spend Christmas with Their Third Partner?

    read more: #obits, #defamer, #jackvalenti, #pirates, #defamer

    Heaven's Movie Pirates About To Meet Their Worst Nightmare


    It is with a heavy heart that we note the passing of former MPAA lobbyist Jack Valenti, an enemy of the movie-pirate menace so terrifying that a future generation of unauthorized downloaders will trade apocryphal stories about the copyright-defending bogeyman in hushed tones while watching illegal copies of Spider-Man 16, visibly trembling as they hear once again how a DVD-ripping friend of a friend's grandfather once awoke to find Valenti's hook embedded in the side of her computer and the message STOP RAPING HOLLYWOOD scrawled in blood on the bedroom wall. The LAT has a detailed obituary for those interested in the hyperbole-prone pirate-hunter and ratings system pioneer's legacy; after the jump, a tribute round-up of our long-ago posts about Valenti's fascinating thoughts on subjects like elves, the hostess-humping absurdity of the Hays Code era, and the un-fucking-believable magic boxes that assist outlaws in stealing food from the mouths of honest stuntmen:

    · Jack Valenti, Champion Of The Ratings System

    · Jack Valenti Shares His Thoughts On Politics, Elves

    · MPAA Chief Jack Valenti: Really, We Love This Inter-Thing

    · Nerd Stumps Jack Valenti

    · Jack Valenti: Cigarettes Are Stealing Our Movies!

    · Jack Valenti Won't Go Quietly

    [Photo: Getty Images]

    • Jack Valenti, 85; former Hollywood lobbyist pioneered film ratings system [LAT]


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