As Nicole Richie (mugshot pictured, though far too flattering to warrant anything more than a thumbnail) embarked upon her wrong way joyride up the exit ramp of the 134, wondering in her narcotic-induced stupor why all the brake lights of the cars up ahead had turned white and were quickly increasing in size, two passing motorists had enough wits about them to dial 911 and describe the dangerous, bizarre circumstances to an operator. Celebutard scandal completionists TMZ have obtained the calls made by the baffled and deeply concerned citizens, who surely never imagined that their good deed would ultimately net the authorities 85 drug-addled pounds of troubled reality TV sidekick.

• Nicole Richie 9-1-1 Tape [TMZ]

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