Holy shit!

Osama bin Laden tried to buy a massive amount of cocaine, spike it with poison and sell it in the United States, hoping to kill thousands of Americans one year after the 9/11 attacks, The Post has learned

Sorry, it was a little alarmist of us to spring that on you without some context. Before you imagine the post-apocalyptic landscape of Los Angeles after a coke contamination, complete with bodies piled high in nightclub bathroom stalls and a populace utterly unable to communicate after sundown, the plot was foiled. Hooray! We make better customers than victims! So before you flush your stash, know this: If you don't blow every last rail off that mirror tonight, the terrorists win.

• COKE FIEND BIN LADEN [NY Post via Gawker/Wonkette]

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