Earlier: Oprah's Favorite Things 2007: The Audience Freaks Out!

• The DVR playback numbers are in! Nielsen measures and tabulates up the number of people who ultimately end up watching a show, even long after they air, often boosting upwards a show's total number. The big winners for thus far for the new season: dramas seem to be the viewing of choice in playback mode, in particular, the season premieres of Gray's Anatomy and The Mentalist. The big loser: NBC in general, and The Jay Leno Show in particular which saw almost no playback viewing. [Variety]

• The world's Disney Stores are getting a "floor to ceiling reboot" according to the NY Times. The family entertainment giant wants to turn the experience of shopping for Disney merchandise into more of well, an experience and is considering rebranding the stores as Imagination Parks. [NYT]

• Thomas Lennon and Robert Ben Garant, the team behind Comedy Central's recently concluded Reno 911 (and long ago of MTV's The State) have signed a deal to develop a new comedy for NBC. [THR]

• Paramount has paid two million dollars for a pitch. The untitled, undescribed, unknown feature is to be fleshed out by writers Aline Brosh McKenna and Simon Kinberg, and — if you wondered why the big price tag — produced by JJ Abrams. [Variety]

• Matthew Perry wants back on primetime. The former Friend has signed a deal with Sony to develop a single camera sitcom. [THR]

• The Weekly World News tabloid, famed for chronicling negotiations between America's political leaders and extraterrestrial visitors has signed CAA as its agency. The firm will develop entertainment properties based on WWN's cast of characters. No word yet whether Bat Boy will be seated with his fellow client Steven Spielberg at the CAA Christmas party. [THR]

Movie stars steal theater folks' roles again! Though Cynthia Nixon and John Slattery played the roles in the well-reviewed Broadway production, square-jawed Aaron Eckhart and bugle-lipped Nicole Kidman will be starring in the film adaptation of David Lindsay-Abaire's play about a dead kid, Rabbit Hole. Oddly, John Cameron Mitchell, of Hedwig fame, will helm. The theateriest movie news ever! [Variety] And speaking of Sex and the City people, Warner Bros. and New Line have finally set a date for the big SATC movie sequel. Set your lipgloss to stun and mark your pink martini calendars, because on May 28, 2010... your sequined dreams will be realized once more. The story of grief and loss and life changes as the three gals make the tough decision to put Samantha in a home is sure to be a crowd pleaser. [Variety]

That twee-looking little indie movie about hipsters and babies and stuff, Gigantic, starring Zooey Bechamel, Paul Dano, and John Goodman, has won the top prize at the AFI Dallas International Film Festival. So, it must be good! [Variety] Meanwhile, in bizarro land, Julian Schnabel and Patton Oswalt have won awards at the same festival. [Variety]

Showtime has picked up two new series. They'll likely run with the comedy Ronna & Beverly, about two middle aged Jewish ladies in Boston (!!), and the Tim Robbins-produced drama Possible Side Effects, starring Josh Lucas. Sadly for someone probably, they've passed on the Matthew Perry series End of Steve. [Variety] More cable bad news: the season two finale of FX series Damages was down 32% from last year in the ol' ratings department. Though, a third season has already been ordered, so no worries. [THR]

The terrific Rosemarie DeWitt is joining the cast of John Wells' Company Man, alongside Chris Cooper, Kevin Costner, Tommy Lee Jones, and Ben Affleck. They're filming in Boston, so I'm gonna have to run home and gawp at them like a regular weirdo or something. [THR] Amaury Nolasco, from Prison Break, has been cast in the Hunter S. Thompson adaptation The Rum Diary, starring Johnny Depp. It's filming in Puerto Rico, so if you're there, go and gawp like a standard strange-o. [THR]

One of the many perks of living in countries like Slovakia, Romania, and the Czech Republic? You get to watch the precious premium cabler the MGM Channel. Well now those of you in jealous Slovenia can relax. They've finally brought the network to you too. So good. All is well in Central and Eastern Europe. [Variety]

Boomp3.com

After years and years of development, production finally began on Bros, Matthew Perry’s long gestating Friends spin off, in West Hollywood on Wednesday afternoon. In Bros, Perry’s popular “Chandler” character serves as the den bro to a couple of young plucky bros looking to make it Hollywood (one’s a chef and the other, you guessed it, a writer!). Perry felt that Bros really spoke to an untapped audience —men— while retaining the charm of the original series. Perry said, “It still has the heart and charm of Friends, but it’s edgy like Californication and moody like Mad Men. It’s a real modern and charming bromance between a group of bros who’d die for each other.” Perry did not rule out any guest appearances from his old Friends co-stars, but would like the series to focus on one certain thing: namely, bro-ing down.

[Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

boomp3.com



Friends star Matthew Perry made an awkward exit from popular nightspot, The Crown Bar. Instead of being greeted by autograph hounds, Perry was serenaded by photographers with their clever and unique twist on the famous Friends theme song, which placed a special emphasis of Perry's lack of friends out with him that night. Then Perry was peppered with a series of questions about Jennifer Aniston's relationship with John Mayer and, then, whatever happened to Matt LeBlanc. After attempting to ignore it for a few minutes, Perry broke and said, "You know, me and the Friends people haven't really kept in touch the past couple of years. Now, if you want to know about my friends from Studio 60 I got two scoops of fun info for you!" The photographer that had followed Perry stated that they were unfair with that show.

[Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin]

As the Mail points out, Cox was allegedly "disapproving" when it came to beefy Owen Wilson threesome enabler Vince Vaughn, and has been "protective" ever since the big bad breakup. So bringing Mayer to Cox's Malibu home for the weekend was, well, kind of like one of those tens of thousands of episodes of Friends when either Rachel or Monica would bring some new young guy back to their inexplicably large loft and give each other the thumbs up or down. So which way did Cox's recently skeletal thumb point after spending the weekend with the serial dater?

As a source told the National Enquirer, "Ahead of Aniston's introduction...a friend [said] 'John's a bit uneasy about it - it's like meeting your lover's mom for the first time. Jen laughs and tells him Courteney just wants to pinch and poke the product." And what can we do but judge for ourselves by these pictures? Sure, paps are annoying, but stars with Malibu balconies have no right to look this pissed just seeing one, as Cox does above. We suspect she's actually just spotting John twisting those bullet-shaped tits of Jen's (sorry, we simply will never, ever get over their perfection) like radio dials and attempting to serenade her with his go-to seduction move: "Chocolate Rain." Yeah, if we saw that from our deck, we'd cringe just like Courteney. If not call the LAPD's official Areola Squad, stat.

[Photo credits: X17]

• JENNIFER ANISTON TAKES HER NEW MAN TO MEET HER 'FRIENDS' [Daily Mail]

In today's installment: Russell Crowe, Drew Barrymore, Kiefer Sutherland, Teri Hatcher, Matthew Perry, Chris "Mr. Big" Noth, Chrissie Hynde, Jemaine "Flight Of The Conchords" Clement, Mindy Kaling, Samantha Mathis (with Keith Carradine!), Werner Herzog, Dax Shepard (with Bradley Cooper!), Cedric Yarbrough and Professor Cornell West.

APRIL 10
· Another Matthew Perry Trivia sighting at Barney's Beanery in Pasadena on Thursday. His team of 4, "Dos Dedos", only contained one dressed-up young lady this time, and most likely took first right in front of the antagonistically-named "Bing's Bingers". I say "most likely" because I left before they announced my losing score...

APRIL 11
· Standing in line with all the middle aged punkers at the X reunion show at the Henry Fonda Theatre was Chrissie Hynde...She looked great and didn't look like she's had any work done...couldn't believe she had to wait in line with the rest of us!

APRIL 12
· Drew Barrymore was at the Derby Dolls roller derby on Saturday night April 12th. Here is some photographic evidence.

· I was having lunch at Cafe '50's in Sherman Oaks around 1pm. I couldn't help but notice that every 10 minutes or so, a group of girls ages 7-12 (?) wearing colored bandanas (different colored than the last group, not different colored from each other) with an assigned parent or guardian would come in and have their photo taken by the jukebox (I heard one mother saying it was a scavenger hunt). After 2 or so waves of bandana-wearing tots, Teri Hatcher came in leading the Pink Bandana group. She wasn't wearing much makeup and politely asked for the someone to take the group's photo (that's a switch) by the jukebox. Then they were off, presumably to find 12 bottlecaps or some such that was next on the scavenger list.

APRIL 13
· Russell Crowe with his wife and boys strolling around the Century City mall on Sunday afternoon. They looked like every other family suffering from heat exhaustion.

· Mindy Kaling from The Office having a brunch at Joan's on Third. Met up with some (nonfamous) friends, looked cute and casual, drives an adorable Mini Cooper.

APRIL 14
· Samantha Mathis and Keith Carradine (don't think they were together but stranger pairings have happened in this town) at the Arclight on Monday night. I assume they were there for the special screening that little me wasn't invited to because I didn't see them at my screening of The Visitor. Just before the movie, as I was exiting the ladies room I passed Carradine entering the men's room undoing his pants several feet before the doorway. Note to guys: ick.

· Today at approx. 5:00 PM at the Starbucks in Dana Point, Chris Noth and his girlfriend walked into my Starbucks and ordered a drink. Chris ordered a Chai Tea Latte and his girlfriend had a chop chop pasta salad. They were not with the baby. His girlfriend seemed very very nice. She actually asked for a fork from me and I told her where they were but we were out so I went to the back to get some and brought back one to her and handed it to her and she said thank you and was very nice about it. However, Chris was sort of a dick. Not really a dick to me but a total dick to his girlfriend. Anyways, I thought this was a notable celebrity sighting..

APRIL 16
· could have sworn i saw Jack Bauer at Dan's Subs in the Valley. He even had the arm tats, looked great clean shaven ...he was not with the woman from ny. He had his arm wrapped around a different raven haven hair chic. Much more busty and shorter. at one point he called her Janet (or maybe Janice). He was very happy and relaxed.

· Today at the Koo Koo Roo on Wilshire I saw Cedric Yarbrough, Jonesie from Reno 911. He was hanging out by himself eating lunch listening to something on his earphones. I don't want to say anything bad about him being there or being lame or anything like that because I LOVE Reno 911 and my boyfriend doesn't, so there.

· Jemaine Clement of Flight of the Conchords waiting to cross Los Feliz Boulevard at Hillhurst. Had to look twice because, although that block of the street is not so lousy with hipsters, Clement was blending in with his surroundings. Is he staying in one of the big-ass apartment buildings on the north side of Los Feliz?

APRIL 17
· Saw Werner Herzog at Hollywood Video on Westwood Blvd. ask the clerk if they had a used copy of 'Jungle 2 Jungle' on VHS. [Ed. Note - Really?]

APRIL 18
· Odd couple Dax Shepard & Bradley Cooper (Nip/Tuck, Wedding Crashers) at Katsuya in Studio City.

APRIL 19
· Toast on 3rd Street, today. Was putting my name on the host's list, when I saw an older man in a black suit out of the corner of my eye. I told my friend, "Huh, that orthodox dude looks like Cornell West." And It WAS Cornell West! He was having lunch with a more casually attired Tavis Smiley. The PBS whore in me was totally freaking out.

[Photo Credit: Getty Images]

In today's episode: Al Pacino; Matthew Perry; Val Kilmer; John Krasinski; Vince Vaughn; Spencer Pratt; Heidi Montag; Chris Evans; Simon Rex; Kathie Lee Gifford; Stephen Cojocaru; Dee Snider; Danni Minogue; Mel C.; Randall Kleiser

Wednesday (4/2) Polo Lounge lunch: Al Pacino, in a group of older, possibly producer/artiste-types getting shitfaced.

3/31: At the Fox and Hounds pub in Studio City when who should walk in to sit at a nearby table but Mr. Chandler Bing himself, Matthew Perry. He proceeded to sit at a table surrounded by 4 or 5 girls dressed more for a night of clubbing than for trivia, but I guess someone knew their stuff because their team came in second overall. Matt got up for the joke round and proceeded to tell a tale involving elephant penises (was too drunk to remember the actual joke).

Val Kilmer was on my Virgin America flight from JFK to LAX yesterday (4/1) with his two kids. He's looking hot again, with some highlights and less weight than those unflattering photos of him from last summer. He kept walking up and down the aisles, presumably so people would notice him.

Last night (4/2) at LAX John Krasinski cut in line like he's some entitled uber-celebrity and not just 'that jim guy from the office who couldn't pick a decent movie script if his life depended on it'. Old people were in that line, including my nanna and poppa, and that's never okay. He had a tall chick in tow.

I just got home from watching 21 at the Arclight in Hollywood (04/03 at 10:30pm). Vince Vaughn was walking out in front of us. He looked happy, smiling, and well fed. He was with another guy who could have been a foot shorter than Vince and looked like George Costanza.

4/4: I was just stuck in traffic driving down sunset and a dirty black bmw pulls up next to me. a guy with dirty blonde hair is driving so i look over to see if he's cute or not and OH MY GOD it's spencer pratt. dear lord, why?!? he leans forward and heidi is sitting there in the car with him.

4/2: Chris Evans and Simon Rex at Stone Rose - Evans is hot in a fratty way, but still shorter than you'd expect (I remain shocked by the height challenges of Hollywood stars), kept randomly dancing about and running into people. Rex doesn't look nearly as wrecked as you would expect from someone who has gotten down with P. Hilton, but he genuinely dances like he's mentally incapacitated.

Tuesday (4/1) Polo Lounge sighting (admittedly extremely ho-hum) was Kathie Lee Gifford, loudly "look-at-me, I'm actually working again after ten years of humiliation and shame, eat me Katie Couric" singing songs from some album she announced was some kind of teen thing (yeah, the kids just love KTG!).

Cojo at the Beverly Center Macy's on April 2nd in the early afternoon. He was filming some sort of spring fashion segment about the color yellow, in a very loud grating voice.

4/2 PM: Dee Snider eating dinner at SimonLA looking exactly like he looks in every picture you've ever seen of him, chatting with Kerry Simon himself.

4/1: I was roped into going to the Dancing with the Starstaping yesterday at the CBS studios. Sat a few down from Danni Minogue who was there to see her sister sing. Kylie kept looking at her sister throughout the performance. After both songs she would make faces at her poking fun at her own outfit and dance moves. Actually seems like they have good senses of humor about themselves and are close. Other sightings included Mel C.

Runyon Canyon last Saturday afternoon (3/29) with a bunch of friends. We were on the way down and spotted a passel of older gay gentlemen, one of whom was shirtless and quite leathery. Upon closer inspection, the shirtless man turned out to be Randall Kleiser (director of Grease and The Blue Lagoon). The dude must be 60 but he's still fit... just leathery as well.

· Last night's Dancing with the Stars finale wasn't quite as popular as the show's previous season-ending offerings, but it was still high-rated enough to give ABC its biggest Tuesday night Nielsens in seven years. A basket full of muffins from Steve McPherson has already been delivered to Helio Castroneves in gratitude. [Variety]
· Depending on who you are, The Golden Compass is either too religious, or not religious enough. [THR]
· The Sundance festival unveils the lineup of independent films that inevitably will be overshadowed by constant media reports about which Park City gifting suites and nightclubs Paris Hilton and the cast of Entourage are frequenting. [Variety]

In today's jam-packed episode: Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart; Steven Spielberg, Heather Locklear, Kobe Bryant, and Andy Garcia; Jennie Garth and Peter Facinelli; Meg Ryan, Matthew Perry and Kevin Pollak; Dennis Hopper and Adrian Grenier; Melanie Griffith; Emmanuelle Chriqui; Seal and Heidi Klum; Janeane Garofalo; Sean "Puffy" Combs, Dennis Haysbert, Michael Rapaport, and Tom Arnold; Cheryl Tiegs; Andy Samberg, Maya Rudolph, and Rivers Cuomo; Dominic Monaghan; Rufus Sewell and Mary-Kate Olsen; Katherine Heigl, T.R. Knight, and Josh Kelley; John Waters; Eddie Izzard; Adam Scott; Jamie Gertz; Peter Bogdanovich; Fisher Stevens; Peter Guber; Brian Posehn; and Gloria Allred.

· Nov. 12 - Calista Flockhart and Harrison Ford having lunch with mom at Panini Cafe in Newport Beach near the John Wayne airport. Ultra-casual dress and Calista has a severe case of bed head. Perhaps just got off of a flight?

· ridiculous week...

wednesday, 11/7, saw steven spielberg, heather locklear, kobe bryant, and andy garcia at the hannah montana concert (staples center) - yeah, they were all with their kids. later that night pretty sure i saw nora zehetner at the architecture in helsinki show at the troubador!

tuesday, 11/8, ran into jennie garth and peter facinelli at the 'kraft-a-palooza' (!!!) cheetah girls show at the house of blues.

· 11/10 Saturday at the Swell Season show at the Wiltern: A special section was roped off just for the celebs... looked more like a velvet rope cage in the middle of the floor that all the plebes had to walk around to get out, giving maximum exposure to matthew perry chatting up kevin pollak while meg ryan and her duck lips stared off into oblivion. we all commented that we wished she was still the "you've got mail" version of herself. rumor has it jenna fisher was also there but i didn't see her. weird crowd, amazing show.

· Nov 6 - 2 Studly Bohunks Swanking It Up at the AFI Fest at the Arclight....and that would be Dennis Hopper, pacing about like a jolly mad professor, and Adrian Grenier, tall as the dickens, just every bit as charming as you'd imagine ole Vinnie Chase to be. Both mirthful, both indicative of Greater Star Wattage to Come; but guess what? It never came.

· So I went to Cabo for a wedding this past weekend. On the flight down, Melanie Griffith was seated in first class acting and being treated as if she's turned in a great performance since Working Girl (1988 kids!) She looks like she's been dragged behind a horse one too many times.

In marked contrast was Emmanuelle Chriqui on the return flight. She stood in line like a normal person, smiled and chatted with fellow passengers, waited for her own bags and generally gave off a "really sweet person" vibe. I half expected her to jump on the Lot C bus to get her car!

· 11/4 - This one's a bit late. Seal and Heidi Klum stopping by my Starbucks in Beverly Hills most Sundays is old news, but this time they brought their two older kids. Cutest. Family. Ever. The little girl was very sociable saying hi to people, and the boy had to touch everything — he even tried to take off with an old man's dog. Cutest. Family. Ever.

· 11/9 - After catching a show at UCB Friday night, I caught Janeane Garofalo (who practically stole the show with her recounting of sex with a sweet but slow-witted fireman) exiting with Matthew 'Yeah, It's Retired Must See TV Me, Please Look Away' Perry and an unidentified yet somewhat cute nerd in tow.

· Odd batch of celebrity sightings for this East Coaster...

Monday, Nov. 5 - Cheryl Tiegs at Urth Cafe on Melrose
Tuesday, Nov. 6 - At Wolfgang Puck's CUT at the Reg Bev Wil - Dennis Haysbert, Sean "Puffy" Combs (and entourage of 20 or so sloppily dressed hangers-on), Michael Rapaport, Dog, the Bounty Hunter and his wife Beth, and Tom Arnold in jeans, a green shirt and cap.

Good times indeed!

· Sat Nov 10 - While sitting during the intermission at the Joanna Newsom concert, stewing in my own pseudo-hippy heaven, I got up to allow some people into my row. They were SNL's Andy Samberg and Maya Rudolph. He is an attractive hobbit; disappointed because he looks so tall on TV. She was beautiful and had a really cute sweater on and a few minutes later another guy joined them and my friend wondered when the Rivers Cuomo look was going to fade...but I think it might have actually been Rivers Cuomo.
It was an amazing show, by the way.

· Saturday 10 November, around 5ish - Dominic Monaghan at Amoeba, dressed like an adorable little Unabomer.

· While sitting in the nose bleed section last night at the Spoon/Feist concert (Nov. 12) in the Universal Gibson Theater, caught Rufus Sewell ambling his way up and down the aisle. Then some random guy, thanks again Adam, gave my friend and I two orchestra tickets he couldn't sell because we looked cool. We moved to the awesome new seats, close enough to see Feist's catbag! The only snag of the night was having to tell Mary-Kate or Ashley Olsen (honestly, I don't know which one, I guess the really blonde one) to put out her cigarette. She complied for about 20 minutes then asked for permission to light another one. I relented only because I knew that the couples in front of me would object, which they did, vehemently. Despite being a smurf, she was, much to my surprise, normal body size (or maybe I've been in LA too long), though I suspect that illusion was created by boho chic layers.

· saw Katherine Heigl dining with an older woman (her mother?) at Figaro in Los Feliz Friday night (11/9). I would have yelled, "Hey, Katherine Hi-jel! It's i before e except after c," but I didn't want to cause a ruckus at my favorite restaurant. Another tip for Katherine: If you would prefer that civilians not notice you, don't eat outside facing the street on the busiest block in the neighborhood looking so gorgeous that you GLOW.

· I saw Katherine Heigl, T.R. Knight, Josh Kelley, and some fourth guy (whom I didn't recognize) at 7:30 am at the Rose Bowl swap meet. Heigl was wearing a baggy grey sweatshirt, baggy jeans, a baseball cap, and glasses (not sunglasses). She looked really skinny. The men looked pretty normal. Heigl was looking at some awful threadbare reddish sofa, but I walked off too soon to see if she bought it.

· Director John Waters yesterday (11/8/7) shortly after noon at the baggage carousel for AA #1 in from New York. He was reportedly talking non-stop on cell from the time the plane landed. He was wearing low-top sneakers, rather faded red pants and a plaid shirt. His chauffeur stood by as he paced back and forth looking for his luggage. Coincidence? The in-flight movie was "Hair Spray."

· 11-7—-
Last night after crossing the picket lines here at Disney after getting my pink slip, I went to the Rock-n-Roll Ralphs on Sunset and Eddie Izzard walked in, very serious and in his THE RICHES swag sweat shirt that he was spotted on the picket line wearing. He's so hot yet short in person. Love the man!!!

· Nov 10 Just saw Adam Scott from TELL ME YOU LOVE ME at the Apple Store at the Grove. He was pushing a stroller and had a huge grin on his face, so it's nice to know he doesn't share Palek's views on parenting. He's really adorable but I couldn't look at him without thinking "stunt ejaculation" and laughing, so I quickly turned the other way.

· Nov 12 - Saw Jamie Gertz at Sherman Oaks Castle hosting a kids birthday. I did not realize she is turning into Teri Hatcher! Overheard Jamie say, "I worked out this morning, so I can have something" as she eyed a pizza.

· AFI Fest, Arclight, Friday night, November 2. Was exiting the ladies room when I noticed a somewhat fish-faced, bespectacled older gentleman pass me in the hallway. I frantically wracked my brain, thinking "I know who that is..." when the ascot hit me! Peter Bogdanovich! Looking somewhat like an older, saggier version of Huckleberry Hound. He walked into the Q&A of our movie, "Margot at the Wedding" and took a seat. Why, I'm not sure.

· Nov 8 - bizarre one — fisher stevens hanging out by the brentwood country mart, having clearly just got out of yoga, sweating and swinging his mat around in a heated conversation.

· Thursday night (11/8) at La Scala, spotted telegenic mogul Peter Guber having dinner with a similarly-aged gentleman I couldn't identify (since his back was to me). Guber looked pretty relaxed, probably because that remake of The Birds he's producing doesn't require an actual script.

· The food-court at the century City mall was taken over by WGA Strikers today (Nov 9). Through the mayhem I had a sighting of Sarah Silverman's dungeons and dragons, heavy metal loving, gay neighbor from the "The Sarah Silverman Program", Brian Posehn. He was chowing down on a fuddrucker's burger (I'm guessing Jay Leno did not stop by with some snacks...) and chatting with some Writer Strikers. He was decked out in a red comic book t-shirt showing he is obviously down with the cause. I hope this strike ends soon so I don't have to wait in the Panda Express line for a 1/2 hour on my lunch break.

· spotted Gloria Allred in Von's Market, Sunset Blvd. and PCH last Saturday night 11/2. It was about 10:30 PM and even though she was the only customer in the store besides myself, she was wearing huge dark sunglasses as if trying not to be noticed. Every time I see her on television she seems to be looking for attention. She was grabbing herself a roasted chicken. YAWN!

• Britney Spears has to pay $120,000 of her ex-husband Kevin Federline's attorney fees because he has "no net income." [Us Weekly]
  
• Mandy Moore's taste in dudes remains consistent: her latest loser date is Matthew Perry. [Page Six]
  
• Fabio to George Clooney: "Stop being a diva." [Page Six]

In today's episode: Orlando Bloom; Matthew Perry, Kevin Pollak, and a Lesser Baldwin; Chris Rock; Andy Garcia, Steven Bauer, Nestor Carbonell, Zach Braff, Donald Faison, and Sarah Chalke; Tim Curry and Ellen Pompeo; David Hasselhoff; Justin Chatwin and Molly Simms; Milo Ventimiglia; Macaulay Culkin and Mila Kunis; Andy Dick; Harry Hamlin; Jorja Fox and Aimee Mann.

· I noticed Orlando Bloom taking in the Tracey Emin opening at the Gagosian Saturday night, looking happy and dapper. Later he was talking to the artist, possibly asking what it would cost for the large needlepoint of her bush.

· My fiance and I were at the AMC in Century City Friday night (11/02) getting our tickets to see American Gangster when I noticed a man who looked like he had to be one of the Brothers Baldwin (either Billy or Stephen, we couldn't decide). Then I noticed that the Unspecified-Baldwin-Brother (UBB) was talking to Matthew Perry, an unknown female, and Kevin Pollack. As I could only hover so long w/out being extremely obvious (and was a little embarrassed as the main person I wanted to stare at was Kevin Pollak b/c I've always had this weird crush on him), we proceeded downstairs to stand in line before our theater opened up. UBB walked into the theater showing Bee Movie. Matthew, Kevin, and "unknown female" entered the theater showing American Gangster while it was still being cleaned, and the rest of us plebes waited in line. When they let us in, I made sure that we were sitting behind our VIPs. Sadly, the most exciting thing I have to report is that Matthew Perry kept saying something like "But...I don't understand" after every preview, and Kevin Pollack lol-ed during odd and not-purposefully-funny parts of the movie (primarily, whenever Armand Assante was on screen—maybe because Armand sounded like he was trying to "do" Brando-as-Don-Corleone and it *was* kind of funny).

· Coming empty-handed out of the LA Eyeworks sale Saturday I spied Chris Rock and a very lovely woman coming out of a nearby store. Not being stalky or nothing (I wanted to catch the DASH at Fairfax to Beverly and home) I followed them; he waved to a couple of store owners and they ducked into that store with the red carpet across from Fairfax High. He's quite nice looking in person and his date was not only lovely but not anorexic. They looked like a nice couple, and like they were having a great time shopping on the cool-ish evening. Damn them.

· Friday Night, spotted Andy Garcia, Steven Bauer and Nestor Carbonell sharing a booth at La Loggia in Studio City. Later the same night, cast members from Scrubs seemed to take over the end of the bar area, Donald Faison, Sarah Chalke and Zach Braff, all showed up.

· Nov 5 - Hollywood Farmers Market - Ellen Pompeo, looking like one big pill perhaps because no one was paying attention to her, and her fiance. Also Tim Curry.

· David Hasselhoff sighting last night (Nov. 1) at the Whole Foods in Brentwood sans sunglasses.

· 11/2—molly sims and justin chatwin celebrating a friends birthday at the new david myers restaurant comme ca.

· 11/1- La Scala, Beverly Hills. I spotted Milo Ventimiglia from Heroes eating lunch with two guys. He was very well dressed and very good looking.

· 10/31/07—stopped by Gelson's on Santa Monica around lunchtime and found Macaulay Culkin and Mila Kunis doing a big grocery shop. alcohol and party supplies seemed to fill most of the cart, so i'm guessing a halloween party was in store for those two. he had on a hat and sunglasses and was about the same height as her (in other words, short).

· Saturday, saw a desperate for attention Andy Dick getting thrown out of IO West for disturbing shows there. Douchiness never goes on strike

· This morning (11/5): made eye contact with Harry Hamlin, while walking to work, in an alley behind Ventura Blvd., in Sherman Oaks. His cartoon fish-lipped wifey (don't get me wrong - I lurved Lisa Rinna in DOOL) is apparently opening up her own boutique on the Boulevard. He looks exactly like he does on TV and pictures, which is to say he looks like he's been 50 years old for the past 20 years.

· Nov 4, Silverlake. Whilst enjoying a nice brunch at my fave place (that i will not name), spotted soon to be former CSI Jorja Fox brunching with some friends. Taller than you'd expect and dressed quite frumpily. Also enjoying the food was chanteuse Aimee Mann without hubby. Tall and v thin.

In today's episode: Cher, Matthew Perry, Natasha Gregson Wagner, and Alicia Silverstone; James Blunt; Drew Barrymore and Justin Long; Forest Whitaker; Felicity Huffman, Cherry Jones, and Sarah Paulson; Karl Malden; Mike Tyson; Famke Janssen; Dominic Chianese; Seth Green, Joel McHale and David Annable; Elizabeth Perkins; Alexis Bledel; Tom Colicchio; Carson Kressley; and Eric McCormack.

· Saw Matthew Perry and Alicia Silverstone (not together) circulating around the rooftop patio before the Frames went on stage at the Henry Fonda last night (9/6). A very petite Cher was with a group of people that included a gentleman who was a dead ringer for Kenny G. Chandler Bing, who looked a little rough, was with a lady who I believe was Natasha Gregson Wagner (not sure though). Didn't see them during the actual concert because it was so awesome, I had tunnel vision.

· 9/6 - saw matthew perry and james blunt at the frames show at the fonda. matthew must be a big fan cause he was at glen's swell season gig earlier last month as well. while he was introducing a song, glen was like "you just want to come back from tour, sit on the couch with your girl while drinking tea, watching Friends, you know?" i looked back and matt and his girl friend were cracking up. and at another point in the set, glen randomly half way through the song "star star" said "this song is for matt." i didn't look back to see if it was for him or not. he is, however, taller than i expected and seems to be aging well. he has kind of a rough look. ok i'm being gay. the end.

· Sep 5 - Drew Barrymore and Justin Long were spotted at Pace Restaurant in Laurel Canyon trying to meld into one being using only their tongues. Ah young love.

· Saw Forest Whitaker filming what I now know is Power Blue (thanks IMDB!) right next to my block on Hollywood Boulevard in the middle of the heat of Tuesday. He was dressed in a Santa outfit, which made me feel bad for him... but then I remembered he's probably getting a few million and his car probably has air conditioning. Dick.

· Went to grab a late lunch at Toast yesterday (9/5) and had just finished telling my companion that every time I go there, I see some celebrity (B or C List status mostly) when all of a sudden behind my back a flurry of activity breaks out. The clack of multiple camera shutters turn my attention to the curb behind me where a funny-hat wearing Kirsten Dunst stands hiding her face from a collection of paparazzo. Stating, "this never happens here," she was brought inside by a server to wait for her car to pull up and whisk her away. Upon getting her the getaway vehicle (face still covered) her little fan club takes off in chase. Sadly, my first reaction that the site of her snaggletooth was that it detracted from the deliciousness of my beloved tuner melt. Sigh.

· In a misguided attempt to beat the sweltering heatwave this weekend, a friend and I caught the Sunday, 5:30 pm screening of the Bourne Ultimatum at the Cinerama Dome at the Arclight. "Misguided" because we thought there would be air-conditioning. Other duped Arclight patrons included: Felicity Huffman (Desperate Housewives), Cherry Jones (Tony Award winner) and her girlfriend, Sarah Paulson (of the late Studio 60). Felicity wasn't nearly as thin as I thought she'd be, but if she packed on 10-15 pounds she'd definitely look more feminine (I hate myself for saying that because I really do love her). I also noticed Cherry Jones before I even recognized Felicity.

· Sep 5 - Holy god! KARL MALDEN IN THE HIZZY!

Just hackin' it up on my MacBook at the humble Coffee Fix in Studio City when Skag himself, KARL MALDEN comes in and gets himself a coffee and properly-pronounced croissant. Class act, that Malden.

· Another Privacy Watch, another obligatory Mike Tyson sighting. Saturday afternoon at around 4, (9/1/07) I saw the fearsome Iron Mike speaking to a couple of guys in front of one of those clothing stores on Melrose with one name (which is to say, all of them.) He looked a little chunky, but don't tell him I said that.

· Today 9/7 driving to work on Sunset Blvd. I was stopped at a light and look over to my shoulder and see a very attractive brunette woman driving a Prius in a white wife beater, also stopped at the light. It took me a second to realize it was the comic book movie vixen Famke Janssen.

Also on Wednesday at Cat N Fiddle, as I was walking out after my meal into the courtyard I spotted Dominic Chianese (Junior Soprano) seated and talking with some PYT in the corner. He's still pullin game, god bless his old man soul.

· Well....Bacara resort (in sassy Santa Barbara, actually Goleta for anyone paying attention) was the place to be on labor day weekend. I had lunch at the spa cafe between Seth Green (he's so tiny, he's almost troll status) and is ultra-skinny biatch girlfriend, who were dining and laughing their asses off with Joel McHale (Talk Soup Funny Guy who's a good 6'4") and his wife. Seth ordered the shellfish bouillbase, which my friends and I thought was funny considering the 100 degree plus heat, but Joel picked up the tab. On my other side was Dave Annable (Brothers and Sisters) who was rocking the shirt off, aviator shade look with a tall L.A. looking chick. We all exited at the same time, and Dave was definitely checking out every other girl in the place - classy! But Seth gave no props to Dave who kept looking at him to see if he knew 'he' was....it was hilarious to watch. Seth and his lady hugged it out with Joel and his wife, who then joined us at the Spa pool for a nice salt water swim. A fine way to spend an otherwise boring Monday afternoon!!!

· Thursday Sept. 6: There I was standing in line for my brie and apple panini at Aroma Cafe in Studio City, when the women in front of me in line turns around and I see it's Elizabeth Perkins a.k.a. Celia Hodes from Weeds! She was wearing a cute floor length sun dress and was totally sunburned, or rather, baked.

· Tues 9/4...Cruising west on Sunset, through Echo Park, when I spot Alexis Bledel (or her doppelganger) standing on the street with a couple of people. I can't for the life of me figure out what she was doing there, if it was her...it was a little too far east to be trendy.

· In town for business, I had three celebrity sightings in as many days.

First, Thursday, August 30: Tom Colicchio of Top Chef fame, at his new restaurant Craft in Century City. He was sporting the chef's coat and working in the kitchen, but came out and chatted with some fans. He is fitter in person and his eyes are absolutely piercing blue. He is just as cool as he comes across on television and his new restaurant is amazing.

Friday August 31: Carson Kressley from Queer Eye for the Straight guy, filming yet another reality television program at the Promenade in Santa Monica. This one apparently involves women with body self image issues. Carson was invented for television and couldn't have been nicer, but he seems Botoxed within an inch of his life.

Saturday, Sept 1: Eric McCormack from Will and Grace at LAX. Only slightly shorter than I would have expected, he was with his wife and son, both of whom are equally adorable. They sat on the floor, waiting for the flight to Vancouver, and kept to themselves. He has such a distinctive voice and a great smile.

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In today's episode: Paul Rudd, Jonah Hill, Kristen Bell, and Edgar Wright; Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver; Vince Vaughn; Hilary Swank and Brad Garrett; Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins; Ryan Gosling; Mary-Kate Olsen; Joey Lauren Adams; Kiefer Sutherland; Kate Bosworth; Matthew Perry; Michael Eisner; Van Hunt; Eva Longoria; Julie Newmar and Judd Nelson; Cheryl Hines; Norm MacDonald; Shane West; Jay Mohr and Nikki Cox; Paul Lieberstein; Fred Armisen; Joel McHale; Rumer Willis; and Sean Preston Federline.

· Aug. 25: Triple sighting at Saturday night's screening of so-bad-it's-awesomely-good The Room (www.theroommovie.com) at Sunset 5, and writer-director-star Tommy Wiseau was, sadly, not one of them. Standing behind me to purchase a ticket was a Superbad, bearded Jonah Hill with a bulking camera tucked under his arm...not sure what for?? Once inside, Jonah was joined by Paul Rudd (wearing a green shirt) and Veronica Mars herself, Kristen Bell. They all sat together behind my posse and did their best slinging witty comments and insults at the screen. At one point Rudd quipped: "Shhhh! I'm trying to watch the movie!" which drew many a laugh. Not bad for a newbie, but we totally owned that shit. "You are my rose, you are my rose, you are my rose..."

· Saturday, 8/25: The Sunset-5 monthly gala screening of "The Room." First of the star-studded flock to make an appearance: Jonah Hill of Superbad, followed by the likes of Kristen Bell, Edgar Wright, and Paul Rudd- a showcase of exquisite taste.

· Last night (8/24) was eating with some friends at Tradanoi in Malibu and sitting outside on the patio at the big table was the Governator and his wife Skeletor, yes, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver. They were with 12 other folks and were celebrating a friend's birthday (I could tell you who it was but that would reveal the political dork in me). He was wearing a brown leather jacket. She had on a pretty dress. He ate and drank some red wine but I didn't see her eat anything. They had big fish ice sculpture on their table. We did not.

· Aug. 25 Downtown at Bordello (formerly little Pedro's). The night seemed grim for my girlfriends and I; for a $10 cover, it was as if the last dusty remnants of the Swingers scene had choked up some new phlegm...there were fedoras aplenty and bufonts galore atop desperate faces. Suddenly- a beacon! A grinning Vince Vaughn and a crew of similarly beplaided tall men walked in. He is one tall drink of water; one of my friends went up and talked to him and, at my facetious request, told him he was "a motor-boatin' son-of-a-bitch." She claims that was the moment she lost him. She also said he was "driz-unk" and slurring his speech. Then he sang a song with the band there and was, indeed, "driz-unk."

· In the Redwoods Lounge (or whatever that thing is called) at the Greek Theatre on Thursday, August 16th - Spotted a couple of celebs in the hospitality room at the Tony Bennett concert. Hilary Swank, looking much prettier in person than I would have guessed, with the guy I assume is her agent/lover. Also with them was a normal looking older couple that I figure was her (or his) parents. Also there, the impossible to miss Brad Garrett.

· Aug. 24 - Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins around USC during "move-in week" escorting their son around campus. She's gorgeous in person - both are incredibly nice and down to earth.

· Big PrivacyWatch weekend, which was good since I was hosting out-of-town visitors, who appreciate celebrity sightings in ways jaded Angelenos rarely do. Friday night outside of the Hungry Cat, we saw a disheveled looking Joey Lauren Adams sitting on a concrete bench next to a homeless guy's shopping cart, smoking a cigarette and talking on her cell phone. Sunday morning we graduated from C-list to B-list when Ryan Gosling, bearded and dressed like a lumberjack (seriously, army boots and flannel on an August day in LA?) walked into the 101 Coffee Shop with a guy friend. I guess I had always thought of Ryan as a smaller guy but he's actually pretty beefy. Finally, we went from B-list to A-list (sort of) at AOC on Sunday night when a haggard-and-possibly-homeless-looking Olsen sister (we think it was Mary-Kate Olsen) wandered into the restaurant to say hi to some friends, and then quickly wandered back out to linger on the 3rd Street sidewalk for a while. Her hair was gross and she was rattily dressed and her makeup was horrific - in other words, she looked exactly as I'd expect her to.

· Kiefer Sutherland sighting, Los Feliz, Saturday 8/25, 6:45pm: we turned the corner from Russell onto Vermont and there he was, walking uphill toward us past Skylight Books with a lady friend (dark, shoulder-length hair...we didn't recognize her). He put his cigarette out and threw it into the gutter as he passed us; we turned around and they'd disappeared, presumably into the Los Feliz 3 theater. All the movies started at 7pm — The Bourne Ultimatum, Death at a Funeral or Right at Your Door. Wonder which one were they seeing?

· Kate Bosworth, Thursday (8/23), at Dominic's in WeHo (is that still WeHo? or is it just Ho?). Either way, the lady looks properly fed and was dressed like the hottest Grandmother this side of the 1920s. I've seen Wal-Mart greeters with more contemporary fashion.

· Saturday afternoon (8/25), ex-Disney CEO Michael Eisner shopping with his wife at the Camarillo Outlet; can't say that I blame him, I think Restoration Hardware's retail is over-priced, too.

Sunday evening (8/26), R&B indie favorite/Garth Trinidad-approved Van Hunt walking to rehearsal near Zanzibar in SM; humble, gracious to a fault, a real nice kid - please don't move to Hell Ay. Great show @ Temple Bar last week, btw.

Monday evening (8/27) Matthew Perry at the Barnes & Noble/Westside Pavillion minding his own, bought a book, no one pestered him. Rested, tanned, a little scruffy, looks like life's treating him well.

· Last night (8/28) saw a sun-bleached Chuck Taylor wearing Matthew Perry loitering alone for a good 15-20 minutes, lost in his own world, in the lobby of the new Landmark Theaters at the Westside Pavillion. Definitely skinny Chandler.

· Monday 8/27, I'm making an afternoon run to my favorite wine store in Hollywood and I notice a half-dozen paparazzi swarming outside the adjacent Kinko's. I'm like, what celebrity frequents Kinko's?! So I ask one of the Paps who was inside but he coyly replied, "Go see for yourself." Uch, make me do all the work, why don't you! I wandered in and almost had a heart attack. At first I thought it was Victoria Beckham!! That would have been awesome. No, instead it was EVA LONGORIA, all Posh-ed out with a similar haircut and everything. She was at the cashier paying for something (my bitchy friend in NYC, whom I was on the cell phone with at the time, suggested maybe she was getting her wedding gift thank you cards printed up there). Eva was not only aware of the paparazzi outside and clearly loving it, I have a sneaking suspicion she and/or her publicist called them directly. I mean, they don't usually hang outside of the Hollywood Kinko's hoping for a celeb sighting the way they do in front of Kitson. Also, Eva was done up to the HILT. Perfectly blown out angular bob, full "premiere" type make-up, and designer duds. The most hilarious part though was the only people who seemed to recognize her or care were the paparazzi and me. Seriously, why is she playing at being one of the "little people" who actually goes to Kinko's herself?! That's what assistants are for. It's just rude to the rest of us, in the same vein of how it was insulting when Marie Antoinette played at being "peasant" in her little pretend village on the grounds of Versailles. Still, Eva was movie star gorgeous, I will give her that.

· I went to the Cirque du Soleil "Corteo" opening night. It was like an acid trip without the acid. Many models, artists, theatre people, actors, athletes, dancers, yogis, Euro-trash, and celebrities. I assume many celebrities, because I didn't fight the crowd to see who was being photographed on the red carpet. I did see a lot of "faces" but I couldn't put names to them, as well as 80s TV stars, like the brunette woman from Falcon Crest, as well as twenty-something model/actors who all look alike. However, I went to the after party in the Forum, where I saw a low-key Judd Nelson (one of the "Brat Pack"). He was still looking good in a goatee and longish hair. I caught his eye and he smiled in a friendly (neighborly? ) way. I also saw Julie Newmar (Catwoman from the original Batman show). She must be over 70, but she was wearing a bra with a see-through shrug over it, and genie-type pants with her belly button showing. This might sound strange, but she somehow got away with it. She was sitting on one of the makeout sofas holding court to a small group of friends. Great food and drinks, but I left when the white clowns started descending from the ceiling, popping out of birthday cakes.

· Friday August 24, 2007 My husband and I were eating dinner at the Alcove off Hillhurst, when Cheryl Hines walked in with a younger girl and a man.

I'm still not 100% sure it was him, but waiting for our reservation Friday night outside C&O's in Venice I'm pretty sure Norm MacDonald walked by. I've seen him before, but dude looked like he needed a shower, a shave and a job. Had it been after dinner I may have mistakenly given him my leftovers thinking he was one of the other bums who wait outside for garlic rolls and fusilli.

· ER's Shane West at the Mobil station at Gower & Franklin this am (Aug 27). He walks in, sees 3 people waiting in line, and asks the guy in front if he can cut the line. Confused, the dude says ok and Shane sticks out his credit card to the woman at the register. When he's told they only take cash or ATM, Shane rolls his eyes and goes "ugh" before storming out.

· Aug 27 I just saw Jay Mohr and Nikki Cox at a Starbucks on Ventura and some street just west of Laurel Canyon (I don't know the Valley). He looked exactly as expected, she was gorgeous — sans makeup and the usual strumpet ware.

· Sunday, 8/19 - Swimming laps at the Santa Monica Swim Center, noticed a man a few lanes over who looked familiar (even while wearing goggles) but couldn't figure out why. Kept staring, thinking he was not an agent I knew (hoping he wasn't an agent I knew given my own goggles and bitchin' swim cap.) On the way out of the locker room, saw him again dressed and waiting for his wife/girlfriend/swim buddy to come out of the ladies. Realized is was Toby - Paul Lieberstein - from "The Office." See? Even semi-celebs can take advantage of public recreation facilities.

· Today (8/24), Fred Armisen at the downtown YMCA. Looked pretty fit and pretty normal, working out with his headphones on.

· Monday 8/27: Saw Joel McHale (host of 'The Soup') at the Greek theater catching the Joss Stone show. Very tall and attractive. He was hanging with another good-looking dude who I thought I recognized. My friend and I wondered if they were on a date, but both were sporting wedding rings and chatting about classic porno. Do two straight guys attend a Joss Stone concert together? That's a question for the ages I guess...

· i was at the olympic spa in koreatown this afternoon (Aug. 26), and who else do i spot using the amenities? none other than rumer willis. and guess what? she behaved and looked, dare i say, normal and nice! first of all, very nice body with a cute bird tattoo on her right shoulder. she was pleasant with other guests and staff (and from what i overheard, she believes the beauty myth that steam opens pores and cold water closes them), and tipped her service person. and here's another shocker - she was quite cute! turns out she must be one of those people who photograph poorly, because the potato head was nowhere to be seen. her chin and eyes were pretty much in proportion to the rest of her face and she looked quite nice. her pics don't do her justice - she's really not that out of whack. the only negative thing i can say was that i saw her oufit when she left, and it was kind of yuck. denim overalls, grey tank, and a pork pie hat - not flattering on anybody in my book.

· Aug 27 - Who knows where Brit Brit was on Saturday afternoon, but her son, Sean Preston Federline was working out his inner wigger at the And 1 Streetball basketball game at the Queen Mary in Long Beach. He was being toted around the bleachers by her giant bodyguard for the first half and that baby looked scared. Where is his mother, ya'll???

[Image: Digital Variety]

• The Ron Clark Story [TNT.tv]
• Previously: For Your Consideration: 'L Word' Downgraded To Merely Bi-Curious [Defamer]

In today's episode: Jake Gyllenhaal; Matthew Perry and Kevin Pollak; Billy Bob Thornton; Steven Soderbergh and Jules Asner; Mike Tyson; Frankie Muniz; Matthew Fox and Alicia Silverstone; Eric Dane and Rebecca Gayheart; Jason Priestley; Paris and Nicole Hilton, Blake McGrath, Vincent Young and Scott Storch; Madden Brother; Wilson Cruz and Chuck Woolery.

· This evening (4-5) on Mulholland, I passed Jake Gyllenhaal on his bike. In spandex, with yellow safety flags on each side. Fit, sensible, lovely calves. Yes, please.

· Monday, saw Matthew Perry and Kevin Pollak having a conversation on the 3rd Street Promenade in Santa Monica.

· Some friends and I were at the Century City Mall Friday grabbing some over-priced grub & enjoying our Non-Al Fresco dining experience before Blades of Glory, when who do we see ambling around the food court but Billy Bob Thornton. He was clad with the requisite baseball cap & petite, pretty Asian chick (she was cute). He seemed to stare at the sushi restaurants as if he couldn't decide what to eat...you know, like us normal folk. Eventually he ordered (sushi choice number one I think) & got a table. Half my group went off to subtly stalk him while I sat there and skulked at A) how short he is & B) how CAA/ICM are slowly but surely taking us all on short ride to Hell.

· ok..I know you usually shun out of town sightings..but this began at Burbank Airport..where i spotted Steven Soderbergh and child bride looking Jules Asner unabashadely drinking beer out of plastic cups at the airport bar at 2 pm on Monday. The two were on my flight to San Francisco (all coach seating) THEN saw the them again the next day at the SF Giants opening day, sadly they must have had a better ticket broker than me because they were just a few rows behind the
Giants dugout. This time I got to watch them eating polish sausages...AND FINALLY saw the two the next night at the SF W hotel bar having cocktails. OK..besides the fact that they were eating/drinking everytime I saw them..they appeared mellow and cool. I may just forgive him for Ocean's 12.

· This morning at Crunch, I worked out behind Mike Tyson and his scary/creepy face tattoo. I know it's not the first Mike Tyson sighting at Crunch, and I noticed his shirt said "Crunch World Tour 2007" on it, so my guess is that this is all a viral marketing ploy for Crunch so that people will write into blogs like this to report seeing washed-up celebs notable for boxing and raping people. As much as I don't want to give Crunch the credit for this devious marketing scheme, I still feel obligated to report that Mike Tyson was at my gym, and quite frankly, it was a little frightening.

· while enjoying a happy hour beer and blue cheese fries at pete's downtown on tuesday, 4.3, i saw malcom in the middle—frankie muniz—himself! he was sporting a mohawk(?) and had a cute indie rock girl with him. is he married? was she his wife? anyway, they were going into the lofts above pete's. if he lives downtown, where does he park his cars? doesn't he have, like, 7 of them?

· also at the TV ON THE RADIO show on Friday (3-31), besides the super good looking Matthew Fox, was Alicia Silverstone and that Tony guy from 'no doubt' with the same ridiculous yellow hair he's been sporting since the nineties. I've seen him around before. same hair. it doesn't look good.

· Sunday afternoon (4/1) at The Grove - spotted "McSteamy" himself, Eric Dane, and wife, Rebecca Gayheart, both sipping on drinks from The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf and mingling among the little people. He was wearing jeans, tee, sneakers, sunglasses, and a baseball hat pulled down really low. Not exactly newsworthy to mention that he was gorgeous. Taller than your average celeb for sure. She...I don't know. I didn't really pay attention. I think she had on flats? I was a little too wrapped up in the whole "McSteamy" thing to notice.

· 4/3 - 11:40 am. Saw Jason Priestley today at the Target on Sepulveda in Van Nuys. He was with what looked to be his girlfriend/wife, judging by the intimate way he caressed her neck. He was wearing a black t-shirt and blue pants. She wore a beret and something black; I really wasn't paying attention to her. He's a little doughey for an actor, not all cracked-out looking. He's also not the 5'6" that imdb states on his profile. That's how tall I am and he was a good few inches shorter than me.

· While leaving the showing of Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure at Arclight on Monday, saw Dax Shepard entering the lobby. He was with some other guy that I didn't get a good look at. San Dimas High School Football RULES!

· i live and work in d.c. so i had high hopes for my first trip to l.a. in almost four years. alas, this is all i have to report:

3/29: also my birthday. went to area (hey i live in d.c.) where we waited for about a good half hour outside before bolthouse's sister (i am told) let us in. many a c-list celebrity to be seen: blake mcgrath from dancelife - surprisingly quite nice and sassy, of course. some random guy who used to be on 90210 - he had the hots for one of my friends, we chatted about the east coast. didn't realize until the next day it was vincent young (none other than eventual dylan mckay replacement, noah "the boat guy" hunter). lastly, the hiltons themselves (paris AND nicky). i actually put my hands on paris to push her out of the way when my friend lost her earring. she was a little shocked but not a word came from her lips. i'm happy to report she dances like a white girl and i saw her bite it on the dance floor. Also scott storch. looking... wait for it... greasy.

4/2: geisha house. one of the madden brothers (sans nicole or the other one but with a big burly dude instead). had a big debate about which one it was but are we really supposed to be able to tell them apart?

· Wilson Cruz at the Koo Koo Roo opposite La Brea Tar Pits. If he weren't gay as a pink hairnet, I'd be interested. Man knows how to work a tight T-shirt.

· Does this even count as a star sighting?

Saturday March 31st (which shows you how important this was), breakfast at Marmalade in Malibu with my friend visiting from NY. Who is seated across from us? Chuck Woolery. Yes, "Love Connection" Chuck Woolery. With a woman who was even near to his age, who might be his wife (an attractive Pilates blonde). She even ate a muffin with him, and the carb police weren't called.

Note to Chuck, and every non-metrosexual out there: if you insist on flip-flops, sand down the heels. Satans horny pedicure puts off other diners. If you don't want to take this simple step, opt for Topsiders.

In today's episode: Tom Cruise; Ron Howard; Don Cheadle; Steven Soderbergh and Jules Asner; Kelly Clarkson; Jeff Goldblum; Antonio Villaraigosa; Giovanni Ribisi and Jason Lee; Andy Dick; Chad Lowe; Slash; Nicolette Sheridan; Lionel Richie and Ed McMahon; Peter Bogdanovich and Cybill Shepherd; Dita Von Teese; McG and Kate Mara; Zach Braff and Kate Walsh; Penny Johnson Jerald; Eric Benet; Fred Durst; Ian Ziering; Clay Lee and Marcellas Reynolds. In Miami: Lindsay Lohan.

· So I wake up this morning (1/1), hung over but happy to have rung in the NY in style with Gnarls and the Lips, and my b/f and I have a hankering for good old fashioned cooking from Aunt Bea, but since she's dead, we settled for dingy old Dolores on Santa Monica and Purdue - apparently, Opie (Ron Howard) had the same thought, and was sitting about two feet away from us. It's good to know that our million-dollar-earning A list directors can shlep it with the best (worst?) of us at Diners replete with completely un-ironic vinyl booths and 90-year-old phlegm hacking waitresses, with such culinary delights on the menu as "Two Eggs, Any style $4.99". For the record, he was there with an older couple, and a woman who I presume to be his wife. He was looking scruffy, with week old stubble, and the trademark ball cap. I didn't get what he ordered, but did over hear him talking about Jack Black in The Holiday. Coulda recognized that trademark Bluth family narrator voice from anywhere.

Also, and maybe this doesn't technically qualify for Privacywatch as I didn't see him, but it seems that national days-off-work are lucky for celebrity sightings for my boyfriend. When he went for his morning run on Christmas (seriously, who exercises on xmas day?), blasting the Rocky theme on his ipod, stops to cross a road and comes face to face with Tom Cruise in his Bentley-type car. I'm told the evil eye was exchanged, but my b/f was not quick thinking enough to wish him a Merry Christmas and see if this incurred the Wrath of Xenu.

· At the tail-end of a booze-fueled trip to the area, I finally got in my obligatory celeb spotting on Sunday morning, New Year's Eve — Don Cheadle at the Omelette Parlor in Santa Monica. He was waiting outside (celebs wait for tables! they're just like us!) and I didn't even notice him until we went on a coffee run to the Bean and Tea Leaf and my friends said "DID YOU SEE DON CHEADLE STANDING NEXT TO US?" His daughters were with him and were very cute (but no Bridgid Coulter). Other people (who looked like they just came from church) were greeting him and shaking his hand, so I didn't bug him, but man, is he HOT.

· 2 sightings...(sorry, know these are late for post holiday cut off..)

Christmas Eve I was at the Mayfair Market on Franklin around 6 pm...and realized in was in line behind Steven Soderbergh and Jules Asner (ok, I admit I'd been in the frozen food section stalking her in her tight t shirt before I realized it was her) they ended up buying only orange juice and cinnamon rolls. It's a good thing he's with her because she has enough crazy thick hair for 4 people...i don't know, it just seemed like a funny sighting...

also saw kelly clarkson 12/27 at the susina Bakery on Beverly..wouldn't have looked twice, but she was wearing a baseball hat barely perched on her head and large shiny gold sunglasses and kept looking around the small store liked she was going to be mobbed. Was with an entourage of 6 or 7 and she looked chubby (sorry to be mean, but it's true!) She ordered a spinach croissant and grabbed it out of the bag while still in line to pay to start eating. Here's to less snark in 07!

· Sunday, 12/31, I came up the stairs at Crunch and saw Jeff Goldblum in street clothes and inexplicable granny glasses, perched on an ab bench and chatting intensely with an attractive (much younger) brunette on the neighboring machine. They were there for at least the 25 minutes I spent in the vicinity, locked in conversation. But didn't someone send in nearly the exact same sighting last week? Do these multiple identical sightings mean that "Jeff Goldblum with a pretty brunette at Crunch" is now the West Coast version of "Mike Myers with a hockey stick on the Lower East Side"?

· Friday night 12/29 at the Grove, saw Mayor McCheese himself, Antonio Villaraigosa, being accosted by a constituent in the lobby of the movie theatre. I think this guy was telling him how to run the city, I kinda felt sorry for the Mayor, but not enough to interrupt. He's kinda swarthy looking in person, I'm used to seeing retouched pictures of him on magazine covers.

Also saw Giovanni Ribisi with a blonde that was way too tall for him. I thought he was married to a brunette?

· Was having lunch with friends at Pierre Lafond Bistro in Santa Barbara on January 1 when a group of six sat down across from us. Two of the three guys were Giovanni Ribisi and Jason Lee, from My Name is Earl. Jason Lee had the giant 'stache and grizzly beard grossness that he sports on tv. Giovanni was really short and wouldn't shut up. Also, Jason Lee kept grabbing and lovingly caressing Giovanni's hand. Giovanni looked uncomfortable. It seemed like each guy was coupled up with a girl, but Jason Lee was more interested in Giovanni than the young Cate Blanchett look-a-like sitting next to him. [Ed. note: We allowed this one even though it's a Santa Barbara sighting, mainly for the Lee-on-Ribisi action.]

· I personally don't know much about him...nor his claim to fame, but approx 11pm last night while enjoying the downtime between the holiday bookends...my roommate & I saw Andy Dick, also with a friend at The Abbey. Andy had a drink in hand...and was moving freely amongst the late night "poseurs"...who all of course can't be bothered with celebrities in their midst.

· Chad Lowe having lunch in McCoy Station on Mammoth Mountain with friends. Smiled as he asked people at a neighboring table for hot sauce. I wonder if all the snow made him long for days of yore.

Saw Slash and his hair at the Gelson's Market on Van Nuys Blvd in Sherman Oaks. He had a boy (son?) with him who was shuffling his feet and humming. Slash looked like he just stepped out of the "November Rain" video, leather jacket and tight black pants. Funny seeing a rock and roll god picking out peanut butter!

· Old news—Dec. 15— sorry but kind of funny. Was in a small shop on Third St (right near Free Hand) when the Paparazzi started shooting in the store from the street. I looked around and there were only four of us shopping the other three were the workers. One of the clerks closed the gate on the windows to give someone privacy. I looked around and couldn't figure out at first who it was and spotted a blonde with long hair, big sunglasses (it was early evening) and a tight pair of workout clothes that outlined her great bod. I thought, "Nicolette Sheridan." After her friend/publicist or something else said,"Well, I guess we can't go to the other stores now." They left. No one knew who she was even the guy who closed the gates didn't know. I said it was Nicolette Sheridan and the people in the store still seemed blank. I said how come you closed the gates if you didn't know who it was. He said, " I always try to make people shopping here comfortable." I thought, "classy."

· Saturday night at the Arclight - am in the lobby walking over to the Dome to see the late show of "Dreamgirls" and I turn around to realize that Lionel Richie is walking right behind me... headed to the garage. After trading sightings with a friend who saw an earlier "Dreamgirls" screening, it seems Lionel R. was at the 8:00 show. It's all a little surreal and meta to see "Dreamgirls" with, well, a famous Motown singer.

· I went to my first screening in the Cineramadome at the Arclight Thursday night for Dreamgirls. In the theater with my family and ever gay male in Hollywood was Dita Von Teese. She was sitting with a few friends, but no Marilyn.

While eating a late lunch at the Polo Lounge I saw Lionel Richie. Before sitting at his table he stopped to chat with Ed McMahon, who was with three other people. Lionel seemed excited to see Ed and his friends and talked with them for a while before meeting a friend at a different table.

Sitting across from me at Genghis Cohen on Fairfax were Peter Bogdanovich, Cybill Shepherd, and Cybill's daughter. Peter had with him his trademarked large, round plastic-framed glasses.

· Went down to the OC to celebrate the new years weekend and saw McG, We are Marshall director, and Kate Mara eating Caesar salad made table side and what looked like chicken at the Arches. They were with another couple and kept laughing and hugging. They are def together!

· The Jane Doe's private party @ OntheRox on New Year's, I saw Zach Braff was chatting it up for a while with A.R. Tubbs from The Jane Doe's as was Kate Walsh (Grey's Anatomy).

· Saturday, 12/30/06 (11:00am): I saw Penny Johnson Jerald (Sherry Palmer, the First Lady on "24" Seasons 1-3) at the Starbucks in Leimert Park. She was with another lady just relaxing waiting for her coffee. I was with a friend and she (Penny) definitely looked familiar, but I didn't remember her name until after we left the coffee shop. She is very pretty in person, btw.

Saturday, 12/30/06(3:00pm): I also saw Eric Benet (Halle Berry's ex) at the Grove movie theaters (yes, me and my friend get around). We went to see Dreamgirls and saw Benet and his daughter (probably, since she looked about 12 years old or so) heading in to see a movie (don't know what movie he saw since we were headed out).

· We attended the NYE Benchwarmer/Rockstar/Asombroso Model Mansion Party in the Hills on New Year's and were promised celebrities. The only one in sight was Ian Ziering, clearly on something (won't get into specifics), dancing with everyone in sight and looking fabulous in a hot striped shirt and black suit. Looks great for 42 and a very fun, cool guy.

· What the hell ever happened to Fred Durst? Not sure anyone still cares about that tool, but I was graced with his presence at back-to-back meals this weekend. First, at Katsu-ya Studio City on 12/30 for a late-ish dinner. Looking much thinner and cleaner than those Limp Bizkit days. And again for brunch on 12/31 at Toast. Lucky me!

· I just saw Clay Lee from The Apprentice with Marcellas Reynolds from Big Brother. They were in Bloomingdale's in the Beverly Center shopping. They are a couple and were so cute! I'm a reality TV show fan so I talked to both of them about their shows. Really nice guys.

PrivacyWatch Lindsay Lohan SobrietyWatch Edition:

· Lindsay Lohan is drinking at The Delano in Miami as I write this. Looks like Vodka Redbull.

"I try not to think too much about the stuff that's out of my control, like awards," Sorkin says. "But that said, it meant a lot to me and everyone connected to 'West Wing' to get that recognition from the Hollywood Foreign Press right out of the gate. We were by no means a slam-dunk hit at that point, and it helped do for us what that organization historically seems to do best: turn critical hits into popular hits."

A Golden Globes win for the ratings-deficient Hollywood insider drama—whose core audience seems to be composed primarily of Hollywood insiders watching to see if it could possibly get any more not-insidery than it did the week before—might be precisely the kind of confidence builder Sorkin needs to get his wobbly new show on its feet: If not Best Drama (because, let's face it, the HFPA may be junket whores, but they aren't stupid), then perhaps at least a nod to Matthew Perry, whose trophy might read Best Actor in a Television Drama, but who we all know will really be winning for Outstanding Ability By An Actor To Deliver Straightfaced Dialogue About How In Love He Is With An Adorable, Abundantly Talented Romantic Foil Who Is Neither Adorable Nor Abundantly Talented.

• Bold new TV shows could fare well at Golden Globes [Reuters/THR]

The season premiere of "Deal or No Deal" put NBC on top at 8 p.m. with an 8.9/14. [...]

"Deal or No Deal" improved to 10.2/15 at 9 p.m. to keep NBC in the lead. [...]

At 10 p.m., the season premiere of "CSI: Miami" scored the night's biggest audience with an 11.2/17. "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip" averaged a decent 8.6/14 for NBC but lost a significant number of viewers in its second half-hour. ABC was third with "Supernanny," 4.8/8.

Although much has been made of NBC's commitment to making Studio 60 a success, maybe the show's premiere could have defeated CSI: Miami if the network showed the same kind of win-at-any-human-cost dedication shown by CBS's promotional department, perhaps by staging headline-grabbing, dual stunt-relapses by Sorkin and star Matthew Perry. As usual, it seems like Les Moonves and his ruthless crew just wanted it more.

• Season's First Night Goes to NBC [Zap2it.com]
• 'Studio 60' Article Provides Yet Another Opportunity For Us To Bring Up Aaron Sorkin's Substance Abuse Problems [Defamer]

In today's episode: Garry Shandling; Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz; Tommy Lee, John Corabi, Chris Slade, Bobby Blotzer, Chuck Wright and Gilby Clarke; Keanu Reeves and Tate Donovan; Matthew Perry and Seth Green; Julie Delpy; Scott Speedman and Joshua Jackson; Cynthia Watros; Molly Shannon; Jessica Biel; Paris Hilton, Nicky Hilton and Scott Storch; Nicole Richie; Harry Morton; Kevin Connolly; Diana Ross; Debra Messing; Giovanni Ribisi; David Lynch; Naveen Andrews; Scott Caan; Clifton Collins Jr.; Jenna Fischer; BJ Novak and Mindy Kaling; BD Wong; Rachel Hunter; Tom Arnold and Dax Shepard; Bruce Vilanch; Martha Plimpton; Robert Patrick; Camryn Manheim and Pauly Shore.

· Saw Garry Shandling at the Temple Bar on Monday with his daughter date. When my friend told him, "Hey, I liked your show". He replied "Well, a lot of black people like my show". I guess it kinda made sense, seeing that my friend is black.

· Saw Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz at the insanely crowded Arclight theater Friday night. They were walking to the entrance at a very clipper pace. Not sure if they were late for their film or just trying to keep a low profile. Which is hard because he is like 6'4 or something. She looked tan.

· Saturday, August 5th—Forty Deuce in Hollywood. Saw Tommy Lee in a trucker hat (I think even people in Southern Illinois have stopped wearing those). One of the songs the girls danced to was a Motley Crue song, Tommy Lee played air drums during that one. Cameron Diaz showed up with two girlfriends for the second performance (not to meet Tommy). I don't think you need me to tell you she was wearing jeans and a black tank top. The best part had to be when Tommy leaned over to talk to her, she listened politely and when he was done, she made a face at her girlfriends that said, "seriously, that loser has no chance and he shouldn't bother talking to me and he smells". Ladies, you know of what I speak.

· 8/2 Went to a club on Melrose called "40 Deuce". It's a club that has a live band playing covers of 80's rock songs and burlesque girls dancing on the bar. It's pretty rad! Anyway, several rockstars were there. John Corabi (Motley Crue), Chris Slade (AC/DC), Bobby Blotzer (RATT), Chuck Wright (Quiet Riot), Gilby Clarke (Guns & Roses, Rockstar: Supernova) and Tommy Lee (we all know who he is). Tommy was sitting right behind me, but I was too scared to talk to him. VERY hot in person though. And Gilby said hi and was very sweet. Cool to see that many rockstars in the same place at one time!

· Hollywood, 8/5 @ Avalon: Spotted David Spade and Heather Locklear sitting at a table together during the Dan Band Concert. They definitely are dating as we spotted them making out several times during the show. Heather looked great as always. David was sporting a trucker cap titled to the side.

· Saw Keanu Reeves and Tate Donovan with two unidentified females in a terrace box at Hilary Hahn's Hwood Bowl performance last night (8/8). Keanu brought in two bottles of wine and a HEINOUS neck-beard...I wisely resisted the temptation to shout "I AM AN EFF BEE EYE AGENT!" at him.

· August 3rd - I saw Matthew Perry with blonde lady friend and Seth Green with very young looking girlfriend taking in Michael " Rock n Roll Grandpa" Des Barres' Free Love show at the Mint.

· My girlfriend and I saw Julie Delpy at Runyon Canyon on saturday night. She was staring at a dead snake with a man-friend, observing trenchantly that "someone must have hit it with a stick or something. They broke it in half."

· Monday August 7
LAX
International Arrivals
Julie Delpy, in a fluorescent green hoodie and smoking a cigarette in a very nonchalant Gallic way, waiting for someone coming off the Virgin Atlantic flight from London. Perhaps they got held up in customs, as she kept checking a yellow sheet of paper and looking impatient. Then she almost got run over by the guy returning all the Smarte Cartes.

· Faded teen idol night at the Greek for Broken Social Scene & Bloc Party... Scott Speedman and Joshua Jackson milling about the multitudes...

· 8/7: I saw Cynthia Watros formerly of Lost balancing two Peet's cups precariously as she entered her red Jeep in Larchmont Village.
8/3: I saw Scott Speedman hiding beneath a layer of woofy scruff at Malo in Silverlake.

· Scott Speedman and Molly Shannon tonight (8/8/06) at Cliff's Edge in Silver Lake.

· Getting a chicken burrito at Main Street taco joint Holy Guacomole in Santa Monica and who comes walking in but none other than GQ's Best Body covergirl Jessica Biel. Very pretty in a fresh scrubbed Nebraska sorrority girl way. From what I could see, she is toned and looks healthy. Have no idea what she ordered but unlike Ellen Pompeo, she was chewing and swallowing her fiesta on a plate. Do you know why? Because Holy Guacomole has the best mexican food ever and if you disagree I bet she would land a big old round house kick on your face. That is how you get the best body in Hollywood. So there.

· Remember "Highlander?" What do you mean, "No?!?" So, my friends and I were sitting at Pace on Tuesday night as wild lights began strobing in from outside as if a MacLeod had just severed a head. What to my wondering eyes should appear, but Paris Hilton, Nicky Hilton and producer/wankster/Rolling Stone bad-boy-of-last-week Scott Storch walk in with about two or three more people. La Paris was in a loose gray dress and peeking-out red bra and ate only have an appetizer salad (like the Last Days of Pompeo) while Storch - all white-suited (Tom Wolfe does it better and with fewer gold chains) - hovered around with his orange-tinted sunglasses. Is Pace - next door to the hippie-ified, Doors-friendly Country Store - really the new pre-Prey hoverdeck? As they left, same strobe effect - blinking through the restaurant like electric taffy.

· nicole richie swarmed by paparazzi across from La Scala/Beverly Hills yesterday .. lunching diners overheard remarking they saw Paris Hilton in person and were surprised because she was "so ugly"

· harry morton outside Morton's on Robertson side smoking a cigarette solo last Mon.

· Friday, 8/4/06 @ 6:40PM. Equinox West Hollywood. Kevin Connolly standing watching the flat panel TV's in front of the cardio area just catching some scores and the news ticker and making conversation with a few fellow gymgoers. It seemed like he was also waiting for a machine to open up as he eventually headed towards a treadmill in the back that had opened up. He was certainly as short as I have heard but even more diminutive in his workout gear. After what seemed like a few minutes of tinkering with the console, his trainer approached and they had a brief back and forth. He then started running and had pretty good form. I didn't notice any bandages on his knuckles so that well documented punch that he threw defending Nicky's honor couldn't really have done any real damage.

· I work at the Beverly Hills library every Saturday and see celebrities there infrequently. This weekend I was approached by someone I didn't recognize, except that she's been in the library before. She asked me to help her find a video about "wild street kids," since some racks have been cleared out for reorganizing, but I couldn't track down the video about homeless children that she was looking for. Then she gave me her name, "Diana Ross" and asked me to find the tape in her records. I tried not to betray anything in my face...it really was her! She was wearing all white, no makeup, looked "pretty good, considering," as a coworker put it. Although I wasn't able to help her any further with that video, she did check out "Being John Malkovich."

· had my best celebrity sighting of all time... well, maybe not all time, but it was pretty great, and made all my trips to Whole Foods in Westwood for the past few months totally worth it, besides the fact that I go through a tub of their hummus a day. As I was leaving on Saturday afternoon and going through the narrow walkway to the parking area, I saw a couple, with the female half possessing a distinctive nose that reminded me of Debra Messing's. It took me a while to realize that the nose actually belonged to Debra Messing, who was accompanied by her hubby. They have good energy and seem like a genuine and happy couple and were very pleasant.

· Spotted a fitter, healthier, more productive Giovanni Ribisi in the smoking "section" outside Silverlake's headquarters for Vietnamese goodness, Gingergrass, around 2:30 Monday afternoon.

· Spotted director David Lynch sitting with 3 people at an outdoor table at the new wine bar, Vintoca Farfalla, on Hillhurst in Los Feliz, on Saturday (August 5). He seemed to be in a talkative, animated, and friendly mood with his friends.

· I saw Naveen Andrews on a flight to L.A. from NY (Aug 4'th). I thought it looked like him from where I was sitting but I wasn't sure so I made sure to "just pass by". And sure enough it was! He seemed relaxed and esy going. He even smiled at me! Yay! I can die happy now, lol.

· Scott Caan and some dudes walking down PCH in front of Malibu Lagoon, Recognized him by his signature straw porkpie hat. Does it ever come off?

· sitting at an outside table at Barney's Beanery on 3rd Street (8/3), having dinner, when Capote's Clifton Collins, Jr. walks by and gives my buddy's dog a double-take

· Was standing in line for tickets tonight (Aug. 8, 7p) on Melrose at the Improv when who should emerge from a car in the valet line but The Office's Jenna Fischer. She's way prettier and hipper-looking than Pam. Didn't see her in the club, so maybe she was just there to exchange air kisses with the will-call line? Just kidding (about the air kisses)!

· Saw "See You Next Tuesday" at the UCB Theater on Tuesday night (7-17-06); was sitting behind two of my fave actors from The Office: onscreen love interests and fellow scriptwriters BJ Novak (intern Ryan) and Mindy Kaling (clingy Indian girl Kelly). Life imitates art, I guess: Kelly was getting all 'handsy', and BJ demured, saying - I shit you not - "This is going to be all over Defamer, you know." He went on to do a pretty funny standup set later that night.

· Saturday, 8/5 @ 11am. Just saw Law & Order's resident psychologist BD Wong dining at the City Cafe in the Brentwood Country Mart on San Vicente and 26th. He was clearly with an agent type—complete with Treo—enjoying breakfast and coffee and discussing work. BD was wearing workout clothes and was eating a rather large open faced omlette of sorts. He put on his sunglasses towards the end of the meal and went to his Blackberry for most of the end of the meal/conversation.

· Friday, Aug 4th. Standing in the somewhat miserable cattle call line for my flight in the Southwest Airlines terminal at LAX, I looked up to see Rachel Hunter squeezing through the growd. At first I thought that there was no way it could be her—why Southwest? Is she thrifty or does being a supermodel really not pay as well as I assumed? But no, it was her—no make up, hair pulled back in a slightly messy fashion, and carrying what I think was a big, white bed pillow. Quite tall, as expected, and still pretty without makeup. She just seemed pale, but I'm pretty sure she had freckles, which might explain that one.

· Tired of the repetitious Lohan staggering through the Chateau posts? Setting the stage: my nine-month-pregnant wife and I having an early dinner at the Sherman Oaks Cheesecake Factory on Friday night (8/5). Can't even claim that we were there to see Talladega Nights, rather to satisfy her nacho craving. Typical Valley scene: teens on dates and obese families looking straight out of Ohio. Hearing a commotion at the next table over, I look up from our shared brownie sundae. Who do I see making the rounds but Tom Arnold with his amazing pompadoured "hair." Apparently, people in Sherman Oaks don't realize that it's been 10 years since True Lies. But that's not it! I notice someone pulling his hat over his face, trying to hide behind Tom's girth. Unfortunately, Dax Shepard is a good bit taller than Mr. ex-Roseanne. Don't worry, Dax! No one recognized you. I commend you on the idea of getting tips on how to handle stardom from Tom Arnold. Step 1: marry unattractive but rich actress (hey, Kathy Griffin is back on the market) . . .

· This Thursday on the Sony lot, Mr. Bruce Vilanch was browsing through the cds for sale. Snapped a shot which is hopefully attached here.

· Sunday brunch, an all grown up and just as awkward looking Martha Plimpton dining al fresco at BLD on Beverly. She'll always be a Goonie.

· Two weeks ago, Robert Patrick (aka the liquid metal morphing Terminator) escaping the horrific heat while catching a very air conditioned arclight screening of AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH.

· Sun. 8/6 around 130pm, saw Camryn Manheim from my once-favorite show, The Practice, at my nail place on Main St. in Santa Monica. I've seen her there before with her little boy. This time she was sans child, she waited patiently for her turn amongst the throngs of bikini-clad beachgoers. She looked relatively slimmer than her former Practice persona, wearing jeans and a Flashdance-type sweatshirt over a camisole. She got one of those 10-minute neck massages, and she was reading Entertainment Weekly and other nail-place mags. She seems nice.

· Tuesday, August 7th. 5:45pm. Equinox West Hollywood. Pauly Shore towards the back near the changing rooms chatting up a smoking hot Playmate type with visible above the buttcrack tattoo and impossibly round bosoms. Pauly was wearing some ridiculous red, Milli Vanilli do rag. He looked like he had been sweating profusely and a step or two away from The Surreal Life. He was chatting up the nubile blonde, talking about "wrappping a picture.". I didn't know they had decided to do a sequel to In the Army Now!!!

(saturday) i went to see pirates 2 at the amc century 15. about a third of a row was taped off as "reserved." just before showtime, bruce willis and an entourage came in for the reserved seats. he had his arm around a tall brunette. they both seemed very eager to get noticed—both were standing up and looking around for no reason in particular. no sign of darren star however.

We should probably note that both Willis and Perry are CAA clients, so it wouldn't be too far-fetched to imagine Willis demanding that his agent provide him with the seat-reserving pampering supplied to lesser light (and The Whole Nine/Ten Yards sidekick) Perry. And as would befit a star of Willis' relative magnitude, his guy made sure the theater was kept clear of angry TV producers sparing him the indignity of a possible embarassing confrontation with someone who might attempt to "eat him for breakfast" off one of the chairs in his improvised VIP section.

• Hollywood PrivacyWatch: No Special Seating For Ashton Kutcher And Demi Moore At 'Superman' [Defamer]
• Hollywood PrivacyWatch Special Edition: Matthew Perry Expects VIP Movie Theater Treatment [Defamer]
• Bruce Willis Is Getting Really Sick Of Posing With The Fucking Raccoon [Defamer]

So I went to see Superman at the AMC Century 15 last night. The 7:55pm show, to be exact. I waited in line before they opened the doors. Didn't get great seats, but they were OK. Saw the reserved thing on the way in, thought the seats we actually broken. I sat in the row in front, but on the other side of the theater.

After my buddy and I got our seats, I went back out to get popcorn. When I returned, the row behind me was all jittery and uppity. Some guy had come by, torn off the tape and sat in the reserved seats - and he was now being a complete asshole to the people in the row behind.

They then went out and grabbed someone from the AMC staff, who came in and politely asked the rude man to move, as the seats had been reserved.

There followed a good 10 minute back and forth argument, where the AMC staff ended up just escalating up and up their chain of command until someone who could stare down Mr. Darren Star showed up.

Yes, Darren Star was the "family of four" who were asked to move. And he was a complete and utter asshole. He walked out with the AMC manager-type, then they walked back in later with Darren yelling "I hire people like that asshole all day", but eventually, Mr. Starr and his party were persuaded to move. The guy behind me then asked in a loud voice "How's the view from the front row?" toward the party that now had to sit in the nosebleed seats.

I'm not defending Mr. Perry's elitist approach to going to a movie theater, but I wanted to point out what really happened with another ego-has-landed-type...

And our corroborating eye-witness:

I was sitting in the row directly behind Matthew Perry last night at the Superman screening. The man who presumptuously sat in Matt's reserved seats was none other SEX AND THE CITY'S Darren Star. After the management informed Mr. Star the reserved seats were for Matthew Perry, his reply was...and I quote, "Matthew Perry?? I eat guys like that for breakfast!" We all laughed at that one. Then he begrudgingly moved to the back of the theater and Matthew, his friend and their two hot dates sat in their seats.

So we were at the AMC 15 in Century City Wednesday night to see Superman Returns at 7:55pm. Nearly every seat was taken, except for four conspicuously empty ones dead center of the theater. Word was the seats were "reserved", but of course AMC has no reserve seating, so various people kept trying to sit there, only to be told by the increasingly harried staff that those seats weren't available. Needless to say, there were several disgruntled patrons. The worst moment came when a family of four - father, mother, and two young kids were told to get up and move. Word traveled quickly through the house - who could be important enough to block off these seats, and cause the staff so much trouble. Bryan Singer? Top Warner Brothers brass? Or would it be the Man of Steel himself, Brandon Routh?

Well, it turned out to be the Man of less than Steel, Matthew Perry, with three buddies. Matthew, as it turns out, went through quite some trouble to get these seats. We later overheard the theater manager addressing an audience member who was asking why Perry got reserved seating. The person was asking how other ("regular") people could get reserved seating and was being told "regular" people couldn't and then went on to explain how Matthew got his: Matthew had his agent call AMC Headquarters in Oklahoma to have the seats reserved. Now that's clout. Guess he couldn't have done what everybody else managed to do: find seats on his own. Despite the blatant display of elitism, we thought the movie was pretty damned good.

It's the little, concierge-like accomodations like this that really elevate a "good" agent to the blue chip representation afforded by an agency like Perry's home base, CAA. Once word gets out of the lengths the former Friends star's people have their assistants go to to please their client, other talent will start expecting the same treatment. It won't be long before the sound of Eva Longoria's voice is heard echoing off the same walls, barking through her agent's speakerphone that she doesn't care which fucking Pacific Theaters pencil pusher they need to talk to, and that steaming plate of low-fat soy cheese nachos better be waiting for her at her roped-off row for the 9:20 Devil Wears Prada.

• Bloated Stars: Vince, Luke & Leo [ABCNews.com]

Here are the things i love about E3 time in LA; 1) mega events with free booze, 2) something else to talk about besides Anthony Pellicano or Tom Cruise and 3) watching pasty gamers trying to act nonchalant around celebutantes.

Went to the Xbox party at the Amanda Demme-less Tropicana last night, where the celeb sightings were slim, yet still entertaining. Danny Masterson aka DJ Donkeypizzle aka mr. i love the donkey punch was spinning with his hellcat gf Bijou Phillips convulsing or maybe dancing at the DJ booth. Paris Hilton slobbering over new bf Matt Leinert and a slew of TV stars on the decline- Michael Vartan, Matthew Perry, Ashley Parker Angel, Bryan Greenberg (Unscripted), and the son from 7th Heaven.

But the best was the "entertainment" at this Xbox party. They had floating mattresses in the pool and then throughout the night nearly naked hired dancers were writhing and performing strange acrobatics on and/or around the mattresses in the pool. If Paris Hilton didnt do it for the gamers, this certainly did. hotttttttttttttttttt. i stuck to Texas Hold 'Em on at the game consoles.

In this week's episode: Aaron Sorkin and Kristin Chenoweth; Jack Black; Sherry Lansing; Kelly Osbourne and Danny Masterson; Paul Haggis; Drew Carey; Rebecca De Mornay; Benicio del Toro; Andrea Bocelli; Gavin Rossdale and Gwen Stefani; Frankie Muniz; Kate Hudson; Quentin Tarantino; Matt Dillon; Adam Brody and Rachel Bilson; Jessica Simpson; Carl Weathers; Adam Sandler and Rob Schneider; Kimberly Stewart and Billy Corgan; Winona Ryder; Hugh Jackman; James Spader; Courteney Cox-Arquette, David Arquette and Coco; Eva Longoria and Mario Lopez; Matthew Perry; Jared Leto; Jay Mohr; Richard Simmons; Ray Liotta; Kevin James; Adewale Akinnouye-Agbaje and Andy Milonakis.

· Sunday, 4/23, was turning onto Crescent Heights from Sunset to park at a friend's apartment when Aaron Sorkin walked in front of my car, then paused in the median to lean against a stop sign, then jaywalked it over to the other side of Crescent. He seemed awed by all the posters hung up at Virgin Records, and was hopefully on a phone headset as he appeared to be talking to himself. The thought occurred to me just a moment too late to invite him along with us, as we were going to order pizza and watch his former show The West Wing. He disappeared into an apartment building, and returned a few moments later with several people I didn't recognize and Kristin Chenoweth. Probably best I didn't get the chance to ask him up, as it was doubtful we had the proper ingrediants for him to make homemade crack.

· Today (Sunday) after brunch at Barney's, spotted Jack Black on his way up the stairs to the fifth floor (good for him— he needs the exercise). He was with a woman I didn't recognize - but who I imagine is, according to IMDB, his brand-new nonfamous wife.

· 5/27/05 Sherry Lansing exiting the Fox Plaza. She looks good for her age. We made eye contact but we both kept on walking in opposite directions. She has a foundation and her offices are there, which is funny since she was the head of Paramount.

5/27/06 Kelly Osbourne and Danny Masterson at the Ringside (Balthazar Getty's band) concert at the Roxy. One of the security walked her through to the VIP section where she climbed into a booth. Her weight looked normal and she came with a group of girls. Danny still has his big fro and he sat at a side table with a skinny no-name girl.

· Paul Haggis @ Peet's Coffee on Montana on Tuesday morning 4/25. He went virtually unnoticed as he ordered some sort of coffee drink and drove off in a YELLOW mini Cooper.

Drew Carey eating alone @ Bob's Big Boy in Burbank/Toluca Lake on Friday afternoon 4/14. Not shorter/smaller in person. There is nothing small about him.

Rebecca De Mornay watching Friends With Money @ the Grove on Friday night 4/14 ... apparently she was alone because she asked if the single seat next to us was taken!

· Saturday, 4/14 at JPs in Wilshire on Santa Monica: saw Benicio del Toro, looking just like a tall, average guy with slightly more under-eye skin than others. My friend talked to him. I was wasted. Saturday, 4/22 at Woo Lae Oak on La Cienega: saw Andrea Bocelli with wife and kids getting up to leave as we were seated. Wife is gorgeous, she held his hand and led him out the door. Aw. Kathy Ireland is sitting across the room, I don't notice her but my friend does. THEN: I almost choke on my bulgogi when Gavin Rossdale and Gwen Stefani walk in! Gwen looked gorgeous, ready to pop and had on a super cute dress, Gavin was just as studly in jeans. They sat in back and ordered tons of food, no one bothered them, but everyone hushed and stared as they got up to leave. They are so cool. I've never felt so uncool in my life. Sunday, 4/23: saw Frankie Muniz and short blond lady friend at Beverly Center, walking around the food court. Nothing to special about either of them. Monday, 4/24: saw Kate Hudson behind Macgowan Hall at UCLA, smoking a cig with two other non-famous people. Or maybe they were famous but I didn't recognize them. Kate was all smiles and laughter, I have no clue what they were doing there, although Macgowan is a theater/film building. Enjoy!

· Saw Quentin Tarantino at Borders in Hollywood, he was with a posse of all black wearing film nerds and one lonely looking Shar Jackson. I stepped outside to get a smoke, and one of Q.T's posse told me he recognized me, and was convinced I was the third member in a threesome he had the night before. I wasn't.

· Late Sunday (4/24) night at Birds on Franklin . Matt Dillon walking back in forth in front of the sidewalk patio section, trying to be noticed. He was noticed all right. Most of the other patrons were laughing at his shameful attempt to be recognized and pick up chicks. He looked kind of good, but could use a haircut.

· Tuesday, April 24

11:00am- Adam Brody and Rachel Bilson getting brunch at Hugos on Santa Monica

11:15am- A sweatpants wearing, bed-headed Jessica Simpson with a female friend I did not recognize getting brunch at Hugos. Looks like it *may* have been a rough night for her.

· Last Saturday (4/22) went five-deep on celebs. First, went to Indian Film Festival at Arclight and while trying to get into my friend's movie nearly ran straight into a giant musclebound black wall incongruously wearing a Kangol hat. Actually, it wasn't a wall, it was Carl Weathers. I gave him a look that said, "Creed is a foot taller than Stallone and definitely got some extra cash for staying down for the 10 count in Rocky II, right?" And he nodded.

Next up at Citizen Smith for dinner encountered the usual Hollywood assortment of vainglorious plastic beauty with the notable exception of a dude in the corner wearing a hat, a puffy ski vest, grey sweatpants and sneakers...Adam Sandler. Sandler and cute preggers wifey were on a double-date with Rob Schneider and some hot blondie, no doubt celebrating the cinematic achievement that is Benchwarmers. I met them ten years ago at a Spoons restaurant in Northern Cali, but didn't bring it up. Schneider is like 5 feet tall, of which 4 feet are just sideburns.

Afterwards, we braved the post-US Weekly cover hype and went to The Dime hoping for the good DJ guy plus after Weathers and Sandler I was hoping to hit the Happy Gilmore trifecta with my longtime love Julie Bowen. Instead, we got weak hip-hop and a highly improbably pairing in the corner: uberfugly Kimberly Stewart with a bemused Billy Corgan. Neither one of them seemed to be having fun. Billy had a Holden Caufield style hat on but couldn't conceal his 6'4"-ish frame. Maybe Kimberly misses Talan and Billy misses C-Love. Anyhoozle, went to a musician-laden but celebrity-free party in Silverlake after that for purification purposes. That is all.

· Saw shopping- errr shoplifiting- queen Winona Ryder at Barneys in BH Sunday 4-23. Not surprisingly, an employee assisting her (i.e. lugging around her gigantic pile of clothes) did not leave her sight the entire time. She is TINY in real life. I overheard her a couple times gushing about how she likes to do laundry. Hmmm, guess stars really ARE just like us!

· 4/23 - While making the rounds at Century City, I spotted the man who's going to own 2006 (XMen 3, The Fountain, Flushed Away, etc.) Hugh Jackman with his family - wife, son, and newly adopted baby girl. They were eating ice cream as Hugh cheered on his son who was climbing a tree. Minutes later, Brat Packer we still love to hate James Spader walked by. He was barely recognizable having packed on quite a few lbs. and wearing quite the frumpy ensemble. He used to look so hot when I'd see him jogging by the Starbucks across from CAA. Please tell me the new look is for a role.

· Finally, my very own sighting! 4/23 at the Beverly Center approximately 11:00am: As my boyfriend and I are taking the escalator up to the 7th floor, adorable Hollywood family the Cox-Arquettes (Courteney, David and little Coco) pass us on their way down. Very casual, normal looking family on a Sunday outting. There weren't many people around and no one was bothering them. On a side note, Courtney did not look at all like her nether-regions were filled with "dried up twigs", as those naughty "Friends" writers would have us believe.

· 4/20 - Saw Eva Longoria and Mario Lopez dining together at Magnolia in Hollywood. How does that girl stay skinny? After finishing her meal, she started eating off of his plate. To be fair, Thursday was stoner holiday 4/20, so she might have had the munchies. I didn't see who paid, but I hope it wasn't Mario. His check from ALOHA, SCOOBY DOO couldn't have been that big.

· Eva Longoria flies Southwest! She was on Flight 961 from San Antonio to LAX in the afternoon on 4/24, flying home two days after Tony Parker killed the Kings in Game 1 of the playoffs. She had an A boarding pass (LONGORIA/EVA) and seemed to be alone but friendly, keeping to herself in a mid-plane window seat. Tasty as ever in a strapless red top, cardigan and absurd sunglasses. She also carried a large blue terrycloth pillow. Couldn't see what she was reading. She's unfailingly nice when she's in I'm-just-a-supportive-NBA-girlfriend mode, so even the Mexican bike cops craning their necks for a good look when she deplaned got a smile.

· I saw a post in the Privacy Watch about Matthew Perry wandering aimlessly through the Arclight gift shop. I saw him there, too, and then when I was sitting in the theatre waiting for Hard Candy to start, in comes Matthew Perry. He sat in the seat directly in front of me and leaned all the way forward in his chair during the excruciatingly-difficult-to-watch scene where the girl cuts off the guy's balls. He seemed pretty disturbed. I felt a little awkward being so close to an icon of happiness while watching THAT. Perry looked really good, happy, and was with some guy with a Betty Ford Clinic baseball cap (so he was either being ironic or the guy was his sponsor). The week before that, Brian Posehn sat in front of me at the Arclight during Slither, and made loud fart noises at the preview for The Break Up. I respect him.

· Sunday, 4/22: Saw Jared Leto and some male friends at the Sunset&Vine Zen Zoo Tea, ordering lunch and not just boba, weird. Jared's looking slightly scruffy with really black hair but he can't hide those baby blues. He seemed very chill and either didn't notice or didn't mind my "Jordan Catalano!" double take.

· Saw Jay Mohr with the rest of us plebes watching Al Pacino in Salome at the Wadsworth Theatre in Westwood. He, like the rest of us, gave Big Al a standing-O. Don't know if Jay waited for Al after the show to get an autograph.

· driving home from work, i was cutting through the beverly hills flats on elevado. at a stop sign i was gazing out my driver side window when what should i see? richard simmons. full blown afro. red tank top. vogueing. i don't even know what to say. but rs was clearly very experienced with her madgesty's moves. i don't think this sighting will ever be topped.

· Okay, I see celebs all the time at Gold's Gym in Venice so I stopped reporting them a while back, but this one I thought was worth mentioning: what appeared to be the reanimated corpse of Ray Liotta (4/21). He had that kind of puffy, stitched-togther, post-plastic-surgery look happening, but those piercing baby blues were thankgodfully unaltered. Despite his current appearance, he was such a fox in "Goodfellas" that when I locked eyes with him I couldn't help but swoon a little.

· 4/23/06: Saw Kevin James, looking suitably stocky, in Thousand Oaks. He was dressed in sweatsuit zip-top and jeans, and appeared to belong to a small group of people front of a church. He helped an elderly woman (complete with walker) into a car, all the while wearing a mild, but unmistakable, look of displeasure.

· Saw Mr. Eko (aka ADEWALE AKINNUOYE-AGBAJE - yes I had to look that up) at the Hollywood Y today. Props to him for keeping it real with us common folks. Big guy, in great shape (obvious if you watch the show) but not quite as tall as he appears on TV.

· Bizarre sight at the Audi dealership in Santa Monica today (Monday).
Andy Milonakis and several hangers-on were trying to buy a car - not sure which model they walked away with, or if they ended up buying anything at all. But they were there for a while, and it was odd: Andy was with two tall, attractive guys and a short blond girl, all in their late 20's and one of the guys was cradling a small chihuahua the entire time (do straight guys do that now? - or is that a trademark of the idle rich regardless of gender?). I know Andy is like 30 years old, and has a growth hormone deficiency which is ultimately very sad and not at all funny, but... he looks and talks like he is 13, so it's especially odd to see him in a position to purchase a luxury car, and odder still to see a "posse" surround a guy who looks like my Nintendo-playing cousin. Still, he seemed nice enough.