We blame today's NY Times piece on Being Bobby Brown, the troubled singer/bon vivant's new reality show, for the time that's about to disappear in a summerlong game of Bobby and Whitney-assisted Edward Fortyhands:

The idea for a reality series came out of a conversation he had two years ago with his children - Landon, 18; La Princia, 16; Bobby Jr., 14; and Bobby Kristina, 12. "I was in jail, and they were like 'Dad, your friend Flavor Flav has a reality show," he recalled. " 'When you get out, you should do a reality show.' "

Among the many things viewers learn about the couple: Ms. Houston snores loudly, Mr. Brown uses Preparation H to treat bags under his eyes and the two enjoy a very active sex life. In a voice that is meant to be sultry, Mr. Brown asks his wife, "Can I impregnate you?" To which she quickly responds, "You tried to impregnate me all last week." In one of the show's more uncomfortable moments, Mr. Brown freely discusses how he helped relieve his constipated wife.

The modified Fortyhands rules are practically writing themselves: Every time someone asks (on-screen or off) "Can I impregnate you?" in sultry fashion, finish your bottle at double-speed; every time there's a reference to Whitney Houston's gastro-intestinal system, duct-tape a fresh bottle to your forearm and start pounding. Enjoy your soon-to-be lost summer.

• Bobby Brown Is Back, in Reality TV [NYT]

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