In an essay for the Australian Herald Sun, Russell Crowe bodyguard Mark "Spud" Carroll tries to explain a punch-up with his movie-star boss on the set of Ron Howard's The Cinderella Man. Check out the bodyguard's blow-by-blow of the hot, Aussie man-on-man action:

RUSSELL Crowe did not bite my ear. That never happened, simple as that. He did take a nip at my chest - I was trying to smother him at the time, so I can understand the move.[...] As for calling it a fight, believe me, we have done much more damage to each other playing touch footy.

Go ahead and question Spud's he-man bonafides, but he's not afraid to show his sensitive side. He admits "I cried three times" when Howard showed him Crowe's "rough-cut footage."

• I'd take a bullet for this bloke [Herald Sun (Australia) via The Corsair]

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