It seemed deliciously inevitable that Paris Hilton's poster-board plea for the safe return of pet/daughter Tinkerbell would wind up on eBay. What took so long? Let the bidding begin to marvel at Paris' design skills; savor the subtle invocation of ransom-note iconography in her her all-caps typeface and criminally mangled, repeat-felon-level grammar. Of course, caveat eBay emptor—anyone could have slapped up this image and claimed to be "driving through the Hollywood Hills" to find the poster. Even Nicky, who is probably looking for ways to avoid a naked Todd Meister.

• Paris Hilton Missing Dog Tinkerbell Handmade Poster !!! [eBay]
• Paris Hilton Hanging Lost Dog Signs [Defamer]

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