In the interest of stanching the flow of calls, e-mails, and Forget-Me-Not™ flower-grams expressing concern that we might have foolishly opened an attachment from an unsolicited e-mail purporting to be from the FBI and unleashing a virus throughout the computers at Defamer HQ, we assure you that we did no such thing. (For a detailed view of our security precautions in such situations, click here.) However, we think that we may have contracted gonorrhea of the eyeball from repeated viewing of the hacked photos from Paris Hilton's Sidekick. Please, we beg of you: If you need to stare at the pictures of a topless Hilton kissing the infamous Egplant Dike Ass (nsfw) for upwards of two hours per session, wear safety goggles. Take it from us, the pus-y discharge we're experiencing is no walk in the proverbial park.

• Paris Hilton Hacked: Here Come The Feds [Defamer]

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