Lindsay Lohan's father was sentenced to prison today in New York, receiving 1 1/3 to 4 years for a medley of crimes, including the highly entertaining (though, sadly, highly illegal) footwear-based assault of his brother-in-law. Lohan's publicist is secretly thrilled, knowing that she can now abandon her usual arsenal of fake illness-based excuses for the actress's antics in favor of ones rooted in the stresses of having her father in jail.

• Lindsay Lohan's dad sentenced to prison [NY Newsday via Gawker]

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