By Mark, 3:55 PM on Wed Jun 13 2007, 2,604 views (Edit, to draft, Top, Slurp)

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While we appreciate the City Bakery's attempt to use Paris Hilton's incarceration to drum up a little buzz (as illustrated in the above photo from Eater LA), they ultimately stand no chance against the more dedicated attention-whores of Mrs. Beasly's in our city's ongoing Cupcake Wars. Sticking nail files in some spice cakes and putting up a sign is definitely cute, but demonstrates that the Brentwood outfit lacks the dedication of rivals who have proven they're willing to fellate swarming news crews for coverage or slaughter a disloyal A-lister. Until they accost Rick and Kathy on one of their well-publicized visits to their jailed daughter and demand they deliver their "Visitation Cakes" in front of dozens of cameras, we have no choice but to dismiss them as lazy dilettantes lacking in killer instinct.

• City Bakery to Paris: Get-Out-of-Jail Spice Cake [Eater LA]
• Previously: Hilton Home-ImprisonmentWatch: First Luxury Baked Goods Arrive [Defamer]