Blogging.la's Sean Bonner rants his way through a recent, ill-advised trip to the retarded stepchild of Los Angeles theme parks, Universal Studios Hollywood:

The "Van Helsing" ride ("ride" is bullshit - you have to walk yourself through) is *barely* a step above a haunted house at a traveling carnival - the entire thing boils down to 4 people jumping out saying "boo" or whatever. And I swear to god it's the land of the 10 thousand ADD kids who, in addition to being possessed by satan, have parents who let them run completely wild and have zero concern for anyone else around them.

And holy crap are people fat. And it's official, it's nineteen eighty-sucks fasion all over again. And WTF is up with the Jurrassic Park ride? Why didn't they just put a dino hat on me and throw me in a pool? At least that would have been honest. And if 100 people fit in a room for a show, maybe just put 100 people in there rather than squeezing 250 in. IT'S DAMN UNCOMFORTABLE. I didn't just fork out all that cash to be uncomfortable.

Sean helpfully snapped some pics of his ordeal and posted them to his Buzznet site. As bad as an overpriced trip to see the fake shark can be, there's always something worse: the retarded stepchild in mouse ears.

• Universal Studios Hollywood [Blogging.la]
• "Glad We Don't Have To Wait In That Line!" [Defamer]

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