· Jonathan Schaech has dragged wife Christina Applegate into the M.O.W. mire; the couple will star in a TV movie for CBS, James Patterson's Suzanne's Diary for Nicholas. We hope that Applegate can live up to the fine small-screen acting standards established by Tori Spelling in such compelling fare as Mother, May I Sleep With Danger? [THR]
· ER staggers into its tenth season by whipping out tricks from the bottom of the gimmick bag. They've stunt-cast Ray Liotta for an episode that will unfold in "real time." If you've insisted on watching once Eriq LaSalle left, you really do deserve what you get. [THR]
· Unsurprising tidbit of the week. RNC viewers prefer Fox News Channel's 24-7 conservative reacharounds to the comparatively bed-wetting liberal coverage offered by every other network. [ Variety, sub req'd.]
· Fox, master of ill-advised reality television programming, scoops up Ivana Trump for the puntastically titled Ivana Man. Ivana will pimp twentysomething guys to "mature" women. She probably won't come up with a catchphrase as good as "You're fired!" but could always end each show with the snappy cackle "I got half!" [Variety, sub. req'd.]

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