Apr 22, 2005 12:37 PM
610
Enter your username and password.
Hollywood, 5:36 PM
Tue Feb 9
57 posts in the last 24 hours
Just yesterday, we thought we were on the verge of an astonishing turnaround in the publicity profession, as we exuberantly hoped that a Risorgimento Pubblicità was dawning. Alas, we spoke too soon, as a pair of publicists are forced to issue unarftul denials to Page Six involving the whereabouts of Johnny Knoxville's penis:
Knoxville's rep, Melissa Kates, on the alleged relationship between he and Jessica Simpson: "Jessica and Johnny are good friends as a result of working together last year. Any stories suggesting otherwise are ridiculous."
Lindsay Lohan's rep, Leslie Sloane, on rumors that Knoxville has carnally possessed Lindsay Lohan: "I don't know that to be true."
Renaissance flacks Dan Klores and Ken Sunshine need to step up to counterbalance these harsh blows to The Movement; perhaps Klores can open an art gallery for homeless children, and Sunshine can hunt down and castrate Knoxville, removing the current biggest obstacle to their vocation's looming rebirth.
Contact information for this author is not available.
Original material is licensed under a Creative Commons License permitting non-commercial sharing with attribution.