TMZ breaks the disappointing news that we'd long feared, but secretly dreaded deep in the dark part of our soul which cries out for shaky, handheld footage of the sexual congress of multimillionaire pop-star and poorly chosen, fortune-frittering househusband: There is no Britney Spears and Kevin Federline sex tape. The former couple reportedly will release a joint statement to that effect, hoping to finally squelch the constant rumors of its existence that would have eventually driven its imaginary street value over the $1 billion mark, forcing Spears and Federline to seriously consider reuniting long enough to shoot one and fulfill the astronomical demand.

• There Is No Sex Tape [TMZ]

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