By Mark, 4:00 PM on Tue Nov 7 2006, 12,960 views (Edit, to draft, un-top, Slurp)

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TMZ.com breaks the tragic news the world has been patiently awaiting ever since it was revealed that Britney Spears would be following up her first, Vegas-binge-enabled marriage with an even more ill-advised one to a background dancer with the ability to impregnate his better-employed companions with nothing more than a smirking, sidelong glance: She's finally divorcing househusband Kevin Federline, a move that should surprise no one save a single, shotgun-married Inland Empire couple too busy with their trailer park meth lab to realize that some unions are doomed from their poorly conceived, impossibly white-trashy start. Spears wants the kids—both of them, even the old, slightly damaged one!—an arrangement we'll assume is fine with Federline, who will have no problem restocking his shorty supply with the help of the lone groupie who shows up to each stop on his whirlwind, sparsely attended concert tour.

• Britney Spears Files for Divorce [TMZ.com]