Sometimes, when you are dogged with rumors, the best response is to simply give the people what they want. Brandon Routh, the next Superman, has been accused of everything from being director Bryan Singer's private boytoy to packing a Superbulge so distracting, it sent special effects coordinators scurrying off to invent new crotch-reduction technologies. Here, Routh gamely addresses both stories head-on, joined in a touching show of support by Yankees manager Joe Torre (who undoubtedly can sympathize with the gay rumor thing). Both proudly hold aloft a gigantic, flaming phallus, as if to say, "Perhaps I am on fire. And perhaps I am hung like Brontosaur! What of it? Live and let live!"

• U.S. actor Brandon Routh carries an Olympic torch beside New York Yankees manager Joe Torre [Reuters]
• Previously: Inside The Bulge, Part III: Supermanhood Returns [Defamer]
• Brokeback Krypton [Defamer]

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