We're sensing a strong female presence just north of your head. We're getting a B name...I mean L...C? Yes that's what we meant, a C. Carol. Carla? Catherine! Yes of course, Catherine! She's pointing to an object, it's a ring! A bicycle? A mask! Yes, a mask and she's telling you everything will be all right...she's proud of you...and that these are the weekend grosses:

1. The Legend of Zorro—$21 million
We're going to just come out and say what all of us are thinking: aren't Antonio Banderas and Catherine Zeta-Jones a little old to be playing swashbuckling dressup? A bandit mask can only cover so much.

2. Saw II—$18 million
We predict extremely confusing 'who's on first' type Arclight-lobby conversations after this one lets out. "What did you see?" "Saw II." "Which two?" "No, I saw Saw II" "I saw Saw II too!" etc.

3. Doom—$8 million
Finally, someone had the vision to make Doom better by removing all the interactivity and adding traditional Samoan dance.

4. Dreamer—$6 million
Tick tock.

5. Wallace and Gromit—$5 million
We hear Gumby and Pokey had the fellas over for dinner at their Hollywood Hills house, but things got awkward when Pokey dimmed the lights, Gumby lit up a spliff, and they proposed a claymation four-way.

Contact information for this author is not available.