Put off all thoughts of drowning yourself in your Monday morning bowl of Fruit Loops until you've had a therapeutic run through the box office numbers.

1. National Treasure — $35.3 million
We never thought we'd be writing these words on this Monday morning—or any Monday morning in the next five years—but Nic Cage is back, baby. He married a 19-year-old waitress, he's got the number one movie in America, and it won't be long before he's doing fishtails in his Ferrari on the Sunset Strip, demanding that his agent finally sign him up for that Gone in 60 Seconds prequel his public's been clamoring for.

2. The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie — $33.5 million
Completely flummoxed by the success of one of their movies, Paramount has fired everyone involved and signed over all future SpongeBob profits to Sony.

3. The Incredibles — $26.8 million
We'd like to take a moment to note that Brett Ratner masterwork After the Sunset grossed a cool $5.3 million without the benefit of Pixar's fancy-schmancy technology. B-Rat doesn't need cartoons to make bank, yo.

4. The Polar Express — $15.2 million
Many blame The Polar Express' disappointing box office run on the dead eyes of its otherwise lifelike, animated child characters, but such complaints haven't stopped Haley Joel Osment from making a living.

5. Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason —$10.1 million
The sequel's underperformance this weekend can be blamed entirely on the following Entertainment Weekly headline: LOVE AT FIRTH SIGHT.

• 'National Treasure' Outdraws 'SpongeBob' [AP]
• The Projectionist: The Incredibles De-Pants SpongeBob [Defamer]

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