A Los Angeles judge has put a deadline on the paternity test that would determine once and for all who is the natural father of Dannielynn Hope Marshall Stern, the last good thing to happen to Anna Nicole Smith before her life turned into a nightmarish blur of toxicology reports and Bahamian compound evictions. Anna Nicole has until January 23 to submit the baby to testing, according to ex-boyfriend Larry Birkhead's attorney. Smith, of course, has been insisting all along that the child belongs to longtime lawyer and suspicious satellite presence Howard K. Stern, the man, according to sworn testimony, about whom Smith once said, "EWWW...GROSS!!! No way!! I would never [date him]!'" only to later take his hand in non-legally-binding marriage shortly after her son's methadone-induced death. Now that a deadline is set, we can finally look forward to seeing some sort of resolution regarding the persistent ex-boyfriend vs. creepy lawyer babydaddy scenario, and with the amazing recent advancements in modern genetic testing, not only will we know with certainty who sired the child, but exactly what Anna Nicole secured in the verbal barter that immediately precedes any of her romantic transactions.

• Anna Nicole paternity test deadline set [CNN.com/AP]

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