Johnny Depp is a man who has never won an Academy Award, but lest you think he cares, check yourself real quick! Because he doesn’t care and quite frankly, it would be a burden to him, so don’t even worry about Johnny, okay?

See Johnny—pictured above giving an acceptance speech at the MTV Movie Awards—would prefer not to accept an Oscar. Not because the Academy hasn’t offered one to him yet, which is fine, totally fine. No, it’s because if they did, he’d feel compelled to give a speech. Which he’s willing to do for a golden popcorn statute from the cable channel that brought you The Jersey Shore, but not—no sir, no way—for the highest award his chosen profession has to offer. Via Vanity Fair:

“I don’t want to win one of those things ever, you know,” Depp told the BBC at the London Film Festival’s Black Mass premiere on Sunday. His reasons for dodging an Academy Award: “I don’t want to have to talk,” the actor revealed. (Who can blame him—Depp’s speech at the Hollywood Film Awards last year was the subject of widespread media criticism, and the actor wasn’t even accepting an award.) Also, Depp added, “The idea of winning means that you’re in competition with someone and I’m not in competition with anybody.”

Has anyone informed Johnny Depp his attendance is not mandatory? That he can win without giving a speech? That this shtick isn’t even new?

I would do it in the name of service journalism, but honestly I didn’t want a Pulitzer anyway so don’t even bother contacting me at or at the private cell phone number I DMed to all 20 committee members to send the nomination details, okay???

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