Thirty-six-year-old man/DJ Diplo, who started a feud with Taylor Swift in November by tweeting that she should purchase a new derrière, has "ended" said feud, according to Us Weekly. How does Us Weekly know the feud's over? Because Diplo posted a photo of Taylor hanging out with him at the Grammy's.
Please hand me my glasses.
If you are Us Weekly or a blind man receiving a verbal description of this photo that fails to convey its rich nuance, your interpretation of this shot might be something along the lines of, "Diplo and Taylor Swift took a photo together at the Grammy's. They must be all made up."
I'm sorry to inform you, sir and Us Weekly, that that is a devastatingly facile analysis. For starters, this is a photo that Taylor Swift would never approve for publication on her friend's bulletin board, let alone the infinite Internet. Why?
- Taylor Swift is sucking down what appears to be alcohol in this photo.
- Manicure looks bad.
- Taylor Swift has raccoon red eyes in this photo.
- Taylor Swift's hair is flat (from violent, sweaty dancing?) in this photo.
If you were Taylor Swift, College Freshman, and someone tagged this photo of you on Facebook, you would untag it. It's an unflattering party photo. You barely know that upperclassman, a 36-year-old man who goes by "Diplo."
For evidence that Taylor Swift believes this is an unflattering photo, we turn to her Twitter account: She has not reposted, responded to, or otherwise acknowledged it in any way. For comparison's sake, she did repost Sam Smith's photo of her, in which she looks better than Sam Smith.
Diplo has likely only pushed himself further to the top of Taylor Swift's Sh!t List with this supposed peace offering of an Instagram. Suffice it to say: she would still prefer that her friends not talk to Diplo.
[Photo via Instagram]