Spray-tanned American socialite Nicholai “Nicky” Hilton wed British banking scion James Rothschild at the Kensington Palace Orangery today in a couture lace Valentino gown that reportedly cost over $77,000 to purchase. A car ran over it.
Please join us in the recitation of a traditional Irish blessing for Nicky:
May the road rise to meet you
May the wind be always at your back
May the sun shine warm upon your face
and the car run right upon your train
May God continue to smile maniacally, frighteningly, almost dementedly, on the couple now worth a combined many hundreds of billions of dollars.