Colin Firth, beautiful head with sex voice, has backed out of his voiceover role in the forthcoming Paddington Bear movie, citing his inability to create a good enough accent to fit the bear, who comes from the "darkest Peru."
In typical Firthian quirk, the actor said in a statement, "After a period of denial, we've chosen 'conscious uncoupling'" with the film. In a special language that only he and Hugh Grant speak, the actor expressed his regrets about not being able to do the anthropomorphized bear justice.
"I've had the joy of seeing most of the film and it's going to be quite wonderful. I still feel rather protective of this bear and I'm pestering them all with suggestions for finding a voice worthy of him."
Firth, a dad that you want to have sex with, used the term that Gwyneth Paltrow used to describe her divorce with Chris Martin when describing his dropping out of an animated film about a bear visiting London. He doesn't care. He's Colin Firth. He has everything he needs in this world, most notably a luscious head of hair.
But the film won't be left wanting:
The movie also stars Nicole Kidman as an evil museum taxidermist who has Paddington in her sights, and Julie Walters and Hugh Bonneville as Mr and Mrs Brown - the marmalade-loving bear's adopted parents.
Nicole Kidman as the evil museum taxidermist, a role she was born to play.