Seattle Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson, who’s just one pass completion short of getting everything he ever wanted in life, really wanted to date Ciara. Now he is dating Ciara. What he’s not doing—he claims—is having sex with Ciara.
In an interview over the weekend at San Diego’s The Rock Church, Wilson told an audience that God came to him and told him to “lead” the pop singer in a life of abstinence before marriage.
“I need y’all to pray for us,” Wilson told the crowd, pointing to a photo of Ciara projected behind him, “Cause I know y’all seen her on the screen now.”
If anyone can survive a 6-month relationship without having sex, it’s too-blessed-to-be-stressed Russell Wilson. He has the heart of a champion and the Twitter favorites of a champion who’s bookmarked PornHub.
“I was married before… That didn’t work out unfortunately,” Wilson casually mentioned in the middle of fantasizing out loud about all the sex he’s allegedly not having.
His ex-wife, Ashton, was with him when he was drafted by the Seahawks and definitely didn’t cheat on him with his former teammate Golden Tate (as Tate will tell anyone, sometimes totally unprompted). Lions tight end Joe Fauria also accused Danger Russ of having an affair with his girlfriend, former WWE diva Erika Hammond, but nothing was ever proven (and Russell Wilson would never have sex outside his marriage). He was also rumored to be dating big-booty Instagram model SnowPhat (that was also never confirmed).
Ciara’s son, Future—a product of Ciara’s past with her ex-fiancé, Future—turned 1 last month.
From all of this, we can only conclude that Russell Wilson and Ciara are not having wild, passionate early-relationship sex while both of them are at their physical peaks. Where would you even get an impure thought like that? Russ is obviously masturbating in secret to the “Promise” music video until he gets the heavenly signal to put a ring on it, just as God would want.