Nick Offerman finds yet another way to reference sex; One Fine Day when she first came to Hollywood, Michelle Pfeiffer was in a cult; Anchorman 2 wants all your money; and Netflix just wants an oscar.

  • Despite being constantly shuffled around by the benevolent gods of NBC's scheduling department, Nick Offerman calls Parks and Recreation the "the throbbing, turgid boner of NBC" and is fine with the network focusing on other parts of the body besides its engorged, but always pleasing, genitalia. [Uproxx]
  • When she first moved to LA, Michelle Pfeiffer was part of the Breatharianism cult, which does not allow its members to eat or drink food or water. Which is nuts, but not as nuts as believing that evil TV-watching spirits blasted out of a volcano and attached to your soul (heeeyyyy Tom Cruise). [Page Six]
  • Just because you really, really love Ron Burgundy does not mean you should give Paramount and AMC $50 for a "super ticket"to Anchorman 2, just to watch it two days before normal people (normal people who understand how to spend their money after we just barely made it out of a recession). There are 70 free Dodge Durango commercials for a reason. [THR]
  • Netflix wants an Oscar, and plans to do so with their acquisition of the documentary The Square. [Variety]

Breakdowns is a daily roundup of all the news that wasn't interesting enough to deserve two paragraphs.