The Emmys, as expected, were boring as fuck. There were some great moments (below) which punctuated an otherwise three hour circle jerk of Hollywood's third-finest because film is greater than Broadway which is greater than television. Suck on that, smallest screen stars.

  • Prom King and Queen of Not Douchebag Hollywood High, Jon Hamm and Amy Poehler, threw a party for the Emmy losers last night at Soho House that not only celebrated losing graciously, but also raised money for charity. Winners were invited, but they couldn't bring their trophies and had to pay $1000 for World Wide Orphans to attend. [Atlantic]
  • Corey Stoll, shunned by the Emmys for his role as panty-dropping boozehound junior senator on House of Cards, would like to remind us all that it's okay if you didn't get nominated because "Nobody cares about that stuff." Kevin Spacey then murdered him in a Subaru in the parking garage of his Sunset Plaza condo. [TMZ]
  • I cannot say it enough. Merritt Wever's Emmy acceptance speech was perfection. They should have cut off all mics at that point for everyone and shuttered the Emmys forever. [Gawker]
  • For Claire Danes, the hardest part about winning all those Emmys in her lifetime is keeping her small child from stabbing himself with it. Though, gotta say, angsty Angela Chase would really enjoy the poetic justice in that one. [Variety]