As if making more Star Wars installments wasn't already enough of an affront to the original trilogy, classic villains are now taking promotional selfies too; the holidays will not be kind to Ryan Reynolds; Roseanne Barr has been offered the chance to do Vivid porn, which proves why no one really needs to pay for porn anymore; and Chris Hemsworth made out with someone pretending to be Natalie Portman in Thor, and no, it wasn't just that cheeky Loki.
- "Daaaaaaaad, you're doing it wrong." Whoever is in charge of Disney's marketing released the first Star Wars Instagram yesterday, and it was of Darth Vader taking a selfie, because why wouldn't it be? What's curious is that aside from doing it wrong (Luke, please show your father how to use the front-facing camera), everyone's favorite villain is doing it in the Instagram app. A source at Disney marketing told me that wasn't just a nod to why parents need to stay off social media, but the first step in a large effort between Facebook and Disney to promote Instagram without the disliked sponsored ads in Instagram feeds. See? The machines always win. [Instagram]
- Poor Ryan Reynolds is so hard-pressed to find work, he can't even win a job he already had. Netflix will be releasing five episodes of Turbo, based on DreamWorks Animation's film, in which Reynolds voiced the title role. While Ken Jeong was brought back to reprise his part, Reynolds was replaced by Veep's Reid Scott. [THR]
- Vivid has made an open offer to Roseanne Barr to produce 'geriatric porn' starring the comedian, and why yes, that is your breakfast regurgitated on your keyboard, sorry about that. [TheWrap]
- Chris Hemsworth and Natalie Portman didn't lock lips in that ending credits easter egg in Thor: The Dark World—she was on set elsewhere, so producers threw Hemsworth's wife Elsa Pataky into a wig and had the giant make out with her instead. [Vulture]
Breakdowns is a daily roundup of all the news that wasn't interesting enough to deserve two paragraphs.