Breakdowns: Clarissa Explains It All About Her Celebrity Make-outs

A kiss from Melissa Joan Hart could really ruin your career; Rachel gets The Rachel, even though she really used to hate The Rachel; Harvey Weinstein is already scheming for 2016 to back the president with the most pull at the Mars Chocolate Company; and CBS is still so mad at Dan Rather.

  • Hillary Duff Sr. Melissa Joan Hart just released a tell-all book, which despite reports of ecstasy and lesbian dalliances, still seems as goody-two-shoes as she is. The most interesting bits? Every celebrity she's kissed has briefly launched a career, just to have it crash land into Hollywood c-list'dom since. RIP, Ryan Reynolds, RIP. [Vulture]
  • Despite basically cementing the blow-dryer's hold on bathroom appliances in the 90s, Jennifer Aniston always hated "The Rachel" hair-do dreamed up stylist Chris McMillan. So what does she do? Has McMillan chop it all off again. I just want you to be happy and stop dating bad haircuts and worse men, Jen. [UsWeekly]
  • Terrorizing movie troll Harvey Weinstein and Dreamworks CEO Jeffrey Katzenberg were spotted power lunching in Beverly Hills, discussing important things like who to back in the 2016 presidential race, what Deadline will do without Nikki Finke, and the chokehold chocolate M&M's can sometimes have over a man. [PageSix]
  • CBS will not invite America's dear old dad Dan Rather to their 50-year John F. Kennedy assassination coverage, because they're still sour grapes that he left them, even though he was a pivotal part of their coverage during the actual assassination. [Variety]

Breakdowns is a daily roundup of all the news that wasn't interesting enough to deserve two paragraphs.