Under a waning moon, a glowing witch—poreless, bathed in serums—sets a single silver coin beneath a glittering skull candelabra. “She’s a movie actress,” she chants, eyes closed, her intention set. “She’s a movie actress; she’s a movie actress; she’s a movie actress.”

Blake Lively has seen her shape.

Lively, most delicate of the Afflicted Girls, has for months watched as her lifestyle blog Preserve suffered mysterious maladies and exhibited disturbing, blasphemous behavior unfathomable to any mortal soul. To what can we attribute this behavior? To whom?

On October 13, 2015 long-ill Preserve was relieved of its strange suffering. As its spirit rose from its lifeless body, eager to escape its wretched curse, an untethered, ageless voice rang out over Us Weekly:

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I know she made a big effort. Sometimes shuttering is good. Listen, she’s a movie actress. Why bother with commerce right now? She’s at the top of her career... I’m totally supportive, but you know what? Maybe you can’t do everything at the same time.”

Maybe you can’t do everything at the same time.

Maybe you can’t.

Image via Getty. Contact the author at kelly.conaboy@gawker.com.